Wednesday, 23 July 2014

The worst shower in the world



This post continues from the previous blog post, just a heads up there, for the imagined idea of blog readers.  So, I have showered and it wasn’t the worst shower in the world.  It wasn’t the best shower but it definitely wasn’t the worst.  I don’t feel like Ive emerged from a mini spa day.  I wasn’t handed super soft organic cotton towels at the end.  Herbal essences style orgasmic expression at the sheer majesty of the luxurious lather did not occur.  But I am now clean.  Clean, post shower, it’s pretty much all you need following a showering.  Power showers, massage jets, organic sea kelp soap rescued from the depths of an exotic ocean is just window dressing really.    

I knew this shower wouldn’t be the worst shower in the world because I’ve already had that shower.  The worst shower in the world happened a few years back.  This shower, had non-optional extras.  This shower had an array of insects.  An actual array.  Insects of many different types, on the walls and the floor.  These insects weren't on holiday, oh no, they weren’t just passing through, they actually lived in that shower.  Moreover, there were giant cobwebs on the ceiling which probably housed giant spiders.  Luckily, I didn’t see the giant spiders but they were probably there.   

 The shower window was cracked and made of ordinary, totally transparent glass.  You could see in and you could see out.  I might as well have showered in the garden.  I could basically wave at my friends whilst I showered.  Unfortunately, all my friends except one were male.  I had to wear flip flops during the shower experience to ensure that my feet didn’t emerge dirtier than when they went in.  There was no shower curtain and there was no lock on the ‘bathroom’ door.  I invert comma the word bathroom because it was just a room that largely resembled a shed which happened to have a shower in it.  

The worst shower in the world, took place more than once and happened on a caving campsite in Northern Spain.  The caving campsite was sandwiched in between dog breeding kennels.  These dogs howled and barked continually for about 14 hours a day, every day and the smell emanating from their cages was stomach churningly disgusting.  I am not exaggerating.  We only stayed on this campsite for a few days but it was a memorable few days.  Memorable in all the wrong ways.  We travelled there from a 5 star hotel.  The contrast between the two locations only served to highlight the numbing horror of it all.  I’ve blogged about this caving campsite before.   
 
So I have ended this day with a shower and it was a reasonably pleasant experience.  Now it’s time for bed.  Night night.

xx

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