Tuesday, 23 September 2014

The beehive bun is chavtastic

There appears to be a hair craze sweeping the nation.  I call it the beehive bun.  I have no idea as to it's official name or even if it has one but about 80% of the women I see have a back-combined, high bun planted on top of their heads.

I should clarify, the beehive bun is seemingly only popular with the same women that wear floral jumpsuits.  The kind of outfit that was hitherto only 'acceptable' in the 80s.  The 80s was also responsible for neon and mobile phones the size of house bricks, thus 80s throwback fashions are not good and should be avoided at a wide berth.

The beehive bun, at least, as it appears to me, is symbolic of Chavdom or symbiotic with Chavdom.  In other words, it is intrinsically part of Chavdom.  You have a beehive bun ergo you are a Chav. No question, no 50:50, no phone a friend or Jeremy Kyle Show debate about it.  Likewise, and perhaps rather obviously, the floral, 80s throwback jumpsuit also = Chav.  You may as well don a Shell Suit and get yourself a black, curly Kevin Keegan wig.

Chavdom is not something to strive for. Chavdom is something to stride away from, really, really quickly.

If you are reading this and have a beehive bun, dismantle it.  If you are reading this whilst wearing or indeed simply owing a floral jumpsuit - grunge it up or charity shop it.

Just saying.............


Thursday, 18 September 2014

Tattoo love

So I have fallen in love or maybe it's obsession.  I haven't fallen for a man or, for that matter, a woman, I've fallen in love with tattoos.  A tattoo or two had long been on my to do list.  I was always a little bit scared of the pain.  As it transpired, I had reason to be, it does hurt but not as much as you'd imagine. 

As at this very moment, I have two tattoos. I have five more planned.  It's work-in-progress.  If I had the money, I'd just get them all done as quickly as schedules allowed but pennies or rather the lack thereof prevents fast progress. 

My tattoos thus far are mistletoe and the number 57.  Mistletoe relates to kisses.  57 is both a Biffy Clyro song and my lucky number. 

Planned tattoos include: a clock, a stylised amber rose, a butterfly tree and a line drawn butterfly.  I'm a little hazy on the locations.  But the butterfly tree is definitely going on my upper back. 

Pictures:  57 has been created today so it is a little sore and somewhat darker than it will be in a week or so. 


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