Friday, 13 October 2017


When you overhear the words "missing you already", it sounds a little comedic and maybe even dismissive. It's used upon parting. Perhaps before hanging up the phone. Can someone really be missed moments before they leave? Is it just lip service to the concept of love?

Before June this year, I think I would have said no. People don't really miss that quickly. It's just romantic gesture. Yet, I do miss that quickly now. It didn't happen straightway. It took a few months of knowing you before preemptive missing kicked in. When the end of our date approaches, I can feel the separation without knowing what time you're going home. There are slight changes in posture, in demeanour, in energy. When it is my turn to leave, I just feel a sense of mini dread. Not all consuming, of course,  just little ripples of I don't want to go.

I write this on the eve of our next meeting. Thus there is more anticipation than missing present within me. Wouldn't it be marvellous to hold onto the anticipation of you, from the moment of our parting to our reconnection yet simultaneously enjoy whatever moment I'm in. Wouldn't it be fabulous to never miss you at all. But missing is the inevitable but reluctant side effect of love.  And miss you I do. At least until I see you tomorrow.


Tuesday, 10 October 2017


"Do you remember when we first met?

I thought I had wandered into a dream.

Long years have passed. You did not have the cares you carry now. Do you remember what I told you?

You said you'd bind yourself to me, forsaking the immortal life of your people.

And to that I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone. [Arwen hands Aragorn  the Evenstar]

I choose a mortal life.

You cannot give me this.

It is mine to give to whom I will. Like my heart".

I love this dialogue between Arwen and Aragon. It is utterly beautiful and clearly demonstrates the steadfast yet magical love they share.

Though romantic love may be seen as the most transient, it's fragility stemming from the conditions applied to it. It can also be the most amazing because it is something actively chosen by the heart.


Wednesday, 27 September 2017

The way

I like the way you don't wear aftershave. Yet I remember feeling disappointed at first. Now I'd rather just sense you than any commercial aroma highs. I love the tiny hole at the back of your black jeans and the way your bag is never closed.

Though it puzzled me at first, I now find the exclamation mark you leave at the end of every sentence endearing. How every person that matters to you, is spoken of with such enthusiasm. The way you say you're tiredy and ‘maybe you should’ because you don't want to tell me what to do. That wine is beer and actual beer is irrelevant.

The giggle you do when you look away. Your smile that gives me butterflies. Your tone of voice and emphatic arm waving, when you're strongly making a point. The way you never really shout or get cross.

It might be a million things. I certainly couldn't list them all. I'm adding all the time. It is your minute detail that impresses me. Never stop describing yourself and I'll never stop listening.

The RGF xx

Tuesday, 5 September 2017


Today numerous thoughts in my mind were clambering for attention. After some time I finally settled upon a conversation that has never taken place in reality.  For some reason said conversation left me feeling annoyed. I kid ye not.  I was having a real response to something imagined. Moreover, rather than picturing something magical or profound, it was something unpleasant. Thus I activated Spock mode: This is highly illogical captain. Choose your thoughts wisely, they are your windows to the world.


Sunday, 3 September 2017


And then I meet someone who loves like I do. And I feel it in those moments when our connection is unhindered by filter or distraction or fear or expectation.

There is no reason to stem the tide. There is every reason to let to flow.


Tuesday, 29 August 2017

7 of 9

Dear SS,

As Alisha's Attic once uttered "I wish I were you. I wish I could wear you shoes. I wish I could think from your brain". Or perhaps I could just enjoy a little transient hive mentality. Where I'm assimilated by the Borg that is you. Plus looking like 7 of 9 wouldn't go amiss.

I'm very happy with me but my goodness, to have your charisma and situational mutability.  I only fit into certain social spaces, some of the time. Whereas you stride through them all with aplomb. And you do it with your own unique sense of style. It's quite something to stand out and simultaneously fit in.

If I didn't fancy you like crazy, I'd still admire you tremendously. As it is, I enjoy both with equal measure. I suppose that's why I fell in love with you.


The RGF xxxxx

Sunday, 27 August 2017


I miss you SS.  The picture you sent last night, where you were smiling the smile that begins in your soul and continues, ad infinitum, did nothing to quell my feelings. Right now, there's a band playing nearby.  I can hear them from my sofa.  But if I close my eyes, I can almost imagine that I'm at Leeds Festival with you.  Feeling the echoes of music that surround festivals, which become louder as you walk towards the bands and never completely fade, until the main stages have rested for the night.    

I wish that I was there with you.  That somehow I had sufficient childcare and the relevant ticket.  Rather than the ticket of my imagination that delivers me to the magical space you are in - with musical vibes, canvas overhead and our bodies entwined. 


Highlighted post

Your transient

~ Give me lines on glass The dawn tides And walking past Bring me feathery flashes The midnight moments And backward glances ...

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