Monday, 28 March 2016

Confessions of a sapiosexual

Sapiosexual, according to the Collins Dictionary online is “one who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature" and the "behaviour of becoming attracted to or aroused by intelligence and its use”.

For me, I can extend this to one who is sexually attracted to intelligence, wisdom and geekdom. If someone describes themselves as a geek, my interest heightens. It probably doesn't matter what they're geeky about, just as long as geekdom figures strongly. For example, I recently got excited when a man indicated he was tuning into Horizon, the TV programme.

Tim from Spaced remains the perfect man and not  just because he was played by the hotness that is Simon Pegg. Tim collected comics, he was a talented artist and erm he rode around on a skateboard. He epitomised uber geek and he did it with super cute ginger stubble.

If a man uses a word I've never heard before, my attraction radar surges to Defcon 1. Likewise if he uses somewhat poetic, non-standard language, my brain enters orgasmatron mode. Long complicated words, beautiful poetry, technical phrases that I don't understand are all tantamount to talking dirty to me. In other words, I like big words and I cannot lie.

The sapiosex-generator doesn't need to be traditionally good looking. Obviously the gentleman in question would need some kind of physical sexiness. This could be height, beautiful hands, a beard, sparkly eyes, ink or (take-me-now-swoon) a combination of these. If we combine sapiosex-generator with a Scottish accent, for example, then I'd be overcome with excitement. Gosh, I'd be dropping my white handkerchief accidentally on purpose and waiting for him to return it. ;-)

The brain IS an erogenous zone and it needs stimulation by another's intellect. The manner of intellect would need to have some roots in cultural capital. For example, I would not be excited by an in depth knowledge of the ‘beautiful game’. I've nothing against football and used to rather like the unity in the fanbase. But knowledge of footie has nothing to do with wisdom or intellect. It has more links to knights jousting than professors researching. And to comedically quote Shania Twain, “that don't impress me much”.

Essentially, my sapiosexual self is very particular. I know what excites me and I know what doesn't. If my sapiosexual self is left cold, then I am. Here endeth the game.


The RGF xx

Monday, 14 March 2016

Unexpected mocha

An unexpected, use-an-hour, visit to the new Starbucks in Crewe, will now will be known as Bigbucks because I was conned into buying a Peruvian regular mocha for 3 quid. 3 quid!

The Barrista asked if I wanted Peruvian. I, caught off guard, not really listening, one eye on a hyperactive 4 year old, said yes. Whatamistakertomaker. Premium coffee is probably lost on a mocha, containing as it does, 50% hot chocolate. Regardless, I do not want to spend 3 quid on a drink that doesn't contain alcohol.

Bigbucks: if you want to charge 3 quid for a regular sized coffee chocolate mix, you better make sure that the various beans are gathered by angels clad in gold. The outcome of drinking said mocha generates the Midas touch, a streamlined body and calorie free cream cakes.

Yours Sincerely,

The RGF 

Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Love hearts

I have eaten two mini packs of love hearts, in two days. Healthy food fail. It's taken these two packs to conclude that love hearts taste exactly like indigestion tablets, without the benefit of curing indigestion.  Thus love hearts are a lose lose situation. Moreover lovehearts don't actually foretell romance. In fact they have no precognitive abilities whatsoever.

The notion that love hearts offer hints at future love isn't something I've imagined. It was an actual thing in my youth. Prone to wild imaginings as I am, ahem, as i was before I discovered logical thought - precog sherbet sweets appealed to me.

Damn you love hearts. I didn't even feel the elation I get with chocolate. You're all empty promises and even emptier calories.


The Renegade Glitter Fairy

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