Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Downward spiral?

Sometimes things take a downward turn in life.  In fact, sometimes things turn downwards to such a degree, that it feels like bad stuff is being repeatedly fired at you with military precision.  

Bam, your toddler’s nappy has leaked all over the buggy.  Bam, you've missed the train.  Bam, the lift at the train station isn't working thus you pace up and down for ages with a tired, hungry toddler trying to find another way out.  Bam, your phone breaks.  Bam, you’re toddler is stamping on your feet and hitting you in the face.  Bam, certain hotels won’t let you stay in them without a valid credit card and your credit card isn't working.  Bam, you've found a hotel that doesn't require a credit card but Bam, you've been put on the top floor, have a toddler, a buggy and luggage, there is two flights of stairs and no lift. 

Bam, your toddler has managed to pour hot coffee over herself (panic stations but thankfully her two layered baggy clothes have somehow protected her).  Bam, coffee stains on your hotel wardrobe.  Bam, coffee stains on the hotel floor but its fine because you can’t differentiate between the coffee stains and the stains which were already there.  Bam, you have no internet access.  Bam, your temporary phone has a ring tone so loud, that it has woken your toddler up.  

Bam, you have FUCKING ANNOYING predictive text that you can’t switch off.  Bam, the terrible food you've eaten for dinner is repeating on you.  Bam, and this is the clincher, we are only in this hotel because we currently have nowhere else to go.  Bam, bam, bam and the bad things keep on coming.

Okay so we’re alive and we are, to the best of my knowledge, healthy.  We have a roof over our heads.  We have eaten. We are hydrated.  I desperately need a shower, and the hotel room has a shower.  It’s a crappy shower, that might collapse at any moment but it’s a shower.  I will have to use hand soap to wash my hair, and hand soap isn’t shampoo but hand soap does clean things.

Things could be much worse.  I won’t tempt fate here, they could actually get much worse.  However, things could also get better.  When things really slip into the lower echelons of shitedom, arguably the only way is up.  Cue Yazz in the Plastic Population. 

Tomorrow is a new day.  I still have to fight my way back down two flights of stairs but carrying a heavy buggy, plus luggage, whilst negotiating a toddler but it is much easier travelling downhill than uphill.  

Interestingly, breakfast is included in our room price.  In fact, this ‘hotel’ doesn’t offer room only.  Breakfast, it seems, is compulsory.  ;-).  Well, it the most important meal of the day so who am I to argue.  I do worry at what breakfast might consist of but we will head to the dining room tomorrow morning to find out.  I strongly suspect that we might end up breakfasting via Tesco Extra but you never know, the food at this hotel could be totes amazeballs.  If the carpet stains, wall stains, TV that is STILL tuned into analogue (yes really) are anything to go by, the food here might be radioactive but you just never know.

So, onwards…… I’m off to test out the hotel shower.  Wish me all the luck you can muster.

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