Tuesday, 16 August 2016


Why is that, at the moment I decide I'm off the circuit, basically deem myself indifferent to everyone unless they're my unicorn, im suddenly bombarded with masses of male attention. It's like they know somehow. I can almost imagine them thinking oooh Hazel is probably up for casual sex. Well how wrong you are ‘gentlemen’ callers: not even vaguely akin to a knight. I'm otherwise engaged. I'm super fucking busy watching paint dry. Because that's preferable to the casual sex you're all half-heartedly offering me. I'm not even flattered. I'm just annoyed. 

My heart is ajar. That's my heart, not my legs. I'm open to an offer from the right person. They'll be unicorn shaped. The Wade to my Vanessa. I haven't the time or the inclination for anything else. 

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