Authentic

Planetary type stuff and me stuff is creating a strong desire for me to be fully authentic.  This sits awkwardly with some parts of my life.  It's hard to fully be who you are in every moment. Adulting seems to require so much filtering. And as much as I like choosing my words with kindness, I don't like choosing my words based on expectation or arbitrary rules. I definitely don't like rules that merely exist to make some groups of people subservient or less than another group.  I don't like power plays. I don't like it when people pretend to be different than they actually are. Obviously I want every human to be good and kind. Yet I know that many people aren't. Sigh. Some people aren't trying to be kind, they're chameleon like and this unnerves me. In other words they're false. Yes sometimes we have to blend. I get that. But it feels like some people are master blenders.  That kind of unauthenticate vibe invokes flight mode in me. I truly want to find the nearest metaphorical cave and hide in it. 

So where do I go from here? 

The parting shot in my previous post was 'ready,  set, go' but as much as I'm ready, how do I actually begin? 

I sometimes fear that my attempts at assertion read as aggression. Whilst I appreciate the sentiment in Faith No More's song Be Agressive. I don't actually like aggression. And I care about other people's feelings but NOT at the expense of my own. 

Is this the beginning of being fully authentic? 

Not being a little bit me then looking sidelong for approval?   

Maybe. 

Hopefully.  

Let's see...

The RGF xxx

Realisations

I called myself The RGF in a blog post yesterday.  This was interesting, well at least to me. I'll describe why in a moment. Firstly, I last wrote a blog post in August 2023 (well before yesterday). Secondly, I haven't described myself as The RGF for erm years I think. I simply forgot. It turns out that I forgot far more than my self made label. I forgot what's important to me. Not loved ones, obviously that's locked in but who I am. The things that make me tick. Like caring for the planet, connecting with nature, writing, music,  making a difference in the world and basically being unashamedly WOKE. Capitalisation intentional. 

I like big WOKE and I cannot lie.  

Note: when I say I forgot, I only mean partially. I've been me with a little 'm'. Rather than 'ME'! 

The interesting bit: 2024 in numerology is an eight year. It's also the year of Leo because Leo is the 8th sign of the zodiac. We are still in the energy of a Leo full moon, expressed in the season of Aquarius.  I have just discovered that my moon sign is Aquarius ie the moon was in Aquarius when I was born.  I'm also a Pisces rising or Pisces Ascendant. I'm neither Numerologist nor Astrologist at the time of writing but it seems that your rising sign and moon sign tells you more about who you are than your starsign or at least than your starsign alone. The house the sun was in tells you stuff too but I haven't fully checked the whys and wherefores on this yet. Aquarius is all about activism, innovation and the Leo moon is all about authenticity. 8 in Numerology, amongst other things, is about strength (Leo of course is also about strength). All this being said, it's not surprising that I want to shout loud my vibe into the ether.

Right now, for me and, well, for everyone, it's time to be authentic. Not from the shadows, but uniquely in technicolour. Shining out whilst bathed in a glorious metaphorical sun. 

Coincidentally or perhaps meaningfully, my previous post talked about infinite mirrors.  8 is also the infinity symbol.  

Interestingly, Ophiuchus is the 13th starsign according to some. If it's accepted as a thing, then I'm one of them. And according to various descriptions on the web, I kinda resonate with the traits.  

Sooooooooo this is a lightbulb moment.

I will speak out and I will speak up. I'll do so in unity with my weird, space blob, Aquarius, Pisces, empathic, humanitarian, eco warrior self. 

Ready.  

Set. 

Go!

The RGF xx