Saturday, 10 March 2018


The alarm pulled me into reluctant wakefulness this morning. It would have been a reasonableish occurrence but it's Saturday and we have nowhere to be. Unlike every single working day, I got up immediately and creeped downstairs to put the heating on. You creep when you have a kid and plan on a lie in. Though extra sleep is generally an unreachable dream. I also grabbed my phone.

I have this thing I do. When I've gone to bed early and my boyfriend is out with friends, I look forward to his textual updates in the morning. I feel like I was there by proxy. The proxy being garbled messages in WhatsApp. Sometimes I have quite a few to make sense of. The sensibility within each steadily dissapating as his drunk progresses. On the upside, the frequency of his I love yous increases and though its drunky, its also lovely.

Back to this morning. So it was with  moderate enthusiasm that I checked WhatsApp at about 7.30. It would have been maximum enthusiasm but it was 7.30. It's hard to fully embrace the things that stop the sleep. Waiting in WhatsApp was one 23 second video. Rather than the array of ramblings I was pinning my ridiculous hopes on. Still, it'd probably be 23 seconds of him declaring his undying love for me.  Ive watched it twice now and I'm still not sure what the words were. There may have been dancing. It's hard to say. Certainly the phone camera moved a lot. Right at the end I managed to identify the word beautiful. Whether this was aimed at me or was one's boyfriend summarising the majesty of 23 second monologue, is anyone's guess but the smart moneys on the latter.

These messages also span the gap between my fairly early get up and his generally late get up. They fill the space with echoes of the man and as I love the man, so too I love the echoes. Sadly, only members of The Magic Circle can stretch 23 seconds of nonsense over something like 4 hours. Thus I'll wait for high noon, which is when he tells me our paths will next cross. I wonder if he's confusing high noon with high tea..........

The RGF xxx

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