Friday, 13 October 2017

Missing

When you overhear the words "missing you already", it sounds a little comedic and maybe even dismissive. It's used upon parting. Perhaps before hanging up the phone. Can someone really be missed moments before they leave? Is it just lip service to the concept of love?

Before June this year, I think I would have said no. People don't really miss that quickly. It's just romantic gesture. Yet, I do miss that quickly now. It didn't happen straightway. It took a few months of knowing you before preemptive missing kicked in. When the end of our date approaches, I can feel the separation without knowing what time you're going home. There are slight changes in posture, in demeanour, in energy. When it is my turn to leave, I just feel a sense of mini dread. Not all consuming, of course,  just little ripples of I don't want to go.

I write this on the eve of our next meeting. Thus there is more anticipation than missing present within me. Wouldn't it be marvellous to hold onto the anticipation of you, from the moment of our parting to our reconnection yet simultaneously enjoy whatever moment I'm in. Wouldn't it be fabulous to never miss you at all. But missing is the inevitable but reluctant side effect of love.  And miss you I do. At least until I see you tomorrow.

Xxxx

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