Monday, 3 October 2016

Decision

Past: I have tended to put a lot of effort into romantic entanglements. The hanging off their every word. The adoring looks - as in, me adoring them.  I have been super interested in their interests, whereas they have barely noticed mine. Man: Come watch me play pool. Hazel: Absolutely, I'll do that for you. Even though watching the carpet would be more thrilling.

I've attended martial arts matches and simultaneously had to study for uni on a sweaty floor. I've slept in caving huts on stained mattresses. Darts matches, climbing walls, old man pubs, cricket, football....the list goes on and on. I've waited for messages, phone calls, their delayed appearance at an event. In short, I have behaved like a mug every single time I was filled with the curse that is romantic love. This ridiculous behaviour ends today.

I cannot think of one romantic partner who has reciprocated the level of effort I have made for them. Not one. Not yet.

Present: I choose the men who gaze adoringly at me. Those who try. Damn hard. Anything less than 100℅ effort will be politely ignored. I am worth so much more than half-hearted, vague gestures.

Arwen gave Aragorn the Evenstar (Elessar). She gave up her immortality for the man she loved. I choose this level of effort. Well something roughly comparable within the realms of reality.

I am not Arwen. I'm Aragorn (albeit without the beard and the orcs).

Xxx

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