Changes

In the past, I'd be reaching for the tooooons and the wine before getting ready to go out.  Sometimes getting ready was the most thrilling part. Today, whist getting ready to go out (shopping, not out out), I'm drinking tea and contemplating whether I can squeeze in some hardcore ancestral healing.  

Ah time.  

I do still occasionally go out out. I still reach for tooooons and the wine but tea is my daily companion.  I bloody love tea.  Healing is pretty good too. 

The RGF xx

Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey

I feel like The Doctor sometimes.  Probably Matt Smith's incarnation or maybe David Tennant's.  Indeed, I believe it was Tennant that coined the phrase "wibbly wobbly timey wimey". Is it an overstatement to call it a phrase?  Not to Whovians (of which I'm actually not but I do have potential).

Anyway, I think it's fair to say that parenthood turns you into a Time Lord. In other words, it completely messes with the experience of time. It's not linear. It's some kind of weird, instant, looping, time hopping ride of terror.  No Tardis. No sonic screwdriver. No map. I'd say it's like a computer game but I'm pretty sure games have hints and tips. Parents, on the other hand, just have other parents (who also simply guess their way through every transition).

How can it be that my child - who seemingly only yesterday, left the house cutely tucked into her romper suit, gripping her Iggle Piggle - today left the house with 50% attitude and 50% childlike enthusiasm?

I suppose we become more aware of time as parents. It matters more. It also zips by then stands absolutely still.

I wonder if I'll ever get my head around any of it. I wonder if I'll become the Eckhart Tolle edition of mothering: contemplative, calm, wise, pausing between each moment... It seems unlikely but I DO try. I try to just be with what is (even when what is: is a child screaming that the Internet does not work and that I need to fix it). 

So with my magic router resetting skills primed, I keep riding all the waves of motherhood. The joy, worry and temporal glitches all present in roughly equal measures..

Xxx 

Essay perception

Essay - only a few short weeks since the last essay and I have another. That Im blogging is prob an indication of the impending deadline. I do have a talent to get really into blogging when I have an essay to write.

Perception - some weeks seem short and others seem endless. Time measurement is fixed but time perception is fluid. When an essay is due, time rushes past me and when I'm sat in the office the minute hand appears to move around the clock at a snails pace. Sad but true.