It occurred to me today that you gave me Biffy Clyro. I remember you playing Biffy in your car many years ago. I recall that I wasn't a fan of the screaming vocal bits. Of course it grew on me over time, as you said it would. They became one of my favourite bands.
Thank you for all the musical education.
To quote the mighty Simon Neil:
I hope that you're folding stars.
⭐⭐⭐
Did I once say you looked like a daisy? I feel like maybe you had your white bucket hat pulled back so it framed your face like a daisy. I can't quite remember. Your memory was always so much better than mine. You'd know. You'd be able to describe the moment. I wish I could ask you.
One of Samwise Gamgee's children was called Daisy. I didn't remember this. Google AI checked for me. I keep seeing daisy signs everywhere so found myself wondering if there was a correlation. I did remember that hobbits are fond of flower names. I certainly resonate with this vibe. Nature names are beautiful.
I considered calling my daughter Elanor because of the LOTR link. I opted for a link with her middle name instead.
I hope there are daisies where you are now.
I hope it's ethereal.
I hope you are peaceful.
Here you are in all your glory, raving at our villa in Portugal in approximately 2008 (give or take). I recall saying those buckets would break if you danced on them and they did. What a moment though. Wonderful memories. ❤️🩹
Today is one month since your passing. This makes absolutely no sense. It seems like no time has passed somehow.
I still don't really believe it. It still seems like something I might wake up from.
I have dreams of my nana sometimes and she's still with us. In the dream one part of me knows the truth and the other thinks it was a mistake. She never actually died. It was just an error. Then I wake up. You and I were together when the news of her passing came in. Long ago now. We were sat in your car on the border between Switzerland and France. You closed the window to protect people outside the car from my howling cries. I think we went to the pub after that. I recall sitting on a high stool and losing my balance. You did your best to steady me.
I've had many weird dreams since 28 August. I know you have been in some of them but I can't quite retain the memory upon waking. Is this my subconscious mind protecting my conscious one. Perhaps.
Still I'd like to wake up from this reality, Dallas style and discover that it's just a mistake.
🐦⬛💔
On Saturday I looked through some pictures at my sister's house. Photographs of times I'd forgotten about. A party for my sister's 30th at our house. A party at Queens Street. People full of joy and free from grief.
I wish I could go back.
I wish I could hold the memory.
I wish I could see you as you were then.
I wish I could see you.
Xxx
I may never have read The Lord of the Rings if not for you. I was part way through the first book when we saw Peter Jackson's first film at the cinema. I was rushing to finish but it's not really a book designed for speed.
Over the years we watched the trilogy, the directors cut, the making of. It's fair to say that we were pretty obsessed. We even saw Howard Shore conducting the soundtrack in London. We always talked of watching the extended trilogy back to back but I don't think we ever did.
So today Simon and I started watching The Fellowship of the Ring. We do this in honour of you.
I'm also re-wearing my engagement ring. On a different finger and on the other hand. It's a acknowledgement of what was. A continuous memorial. A circular reminder.
🐦⬛❤️🩹
~Something visceral And beautifully wild Shimmering ripples Beginning inside Not just body Or even heart You sing the songs Th...
