Conversation

I was just reading the cards you've given me since we met and two things occur to me. I've never met anyone as romantic as you. In 27 years of dating, you are more romantic than all those from my history, and no, they weren't all gimps! Since you and in fact because of you, I've begun writing cards for the gesture of it. I stopped buying cards years ago. My statement was one of eco ethics but I took it too far.  I made exceptions when my daughter was born and made some more when I realised that you couldn't go to a child's birthday party armed only with a present. Yet cards just for sentiment is something you have given to me. In a sense you have returned what I lost. I love words and I believe in sharing the echoes of your feelings through them. Receiving a card or a letter is rather magical and where magic is found, it must be explored.

I thank you SS for your beautiful words: in haiku, in conversation, in message, in chemistry, in poem and in card.

With love,

RGF

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

In love

As Tove says "you're high enough for me". 

🦄

Missing

When you overhear the words "missing you already", it sounds a little comedic and maybe even dismissive. It's used upon parting. Perhaps before hanging up the phone. Can someone really be missed moments before they leave? Is it just lip service to the concept of love?

Before June this year, I think I would have said no. People don't really miss that quickly. It's just romantic gesture. Yet, I do miss that quickly now. It didn't happen straightway. It took a few months of knowing you before preemptive missing kicked in. When the end of our date approaches, I can feel the separation without knowing what time you're going home. There are slight changes in posture, in demeanour, in energy. When it is my turn to leave, I just feel a sense of mini dread. Not all consuming, of course,  just little ripples of I don't want to go.

I write this on the eve of our next meeting. Thus there is more anticipation than missing present within me. Wouldn't it be marvellous to hold onto the anticipation of you, from the moment of our parting to our reconnection yet simultaneously enjoy whatever moment I'm in. Wouldn't it be fabulous to never miss you at all. But missing is the inevitable but reluctant side effect of love.  And miss you I do. At least until I see you tomorrow.

Xxxx

Immortal

"Do you remember when we first met?

I thought I had wandered into a dream.

Long years have passed. You did not have the cares you carry now. Do you remember what I told you?

You said you'd bind yourself to me, forsaking the immortal life of your people.

And to that I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone. [Arwen hands Aragorn  the Evenstar]

I choose a mortal life.

You cannot give me this.

It is mine to give to whom I will. Like my heart".

I love this dialogue between Arwen and Aragon. It is utterly beautiful and clearly demonstrates the steadfast yet magical love they share.

Though romantic love may be seen as the most transient, it's fragility stemming from the conditions applied to it. It can also be the most amazing because it is something actively chosen by the heart.

💙💙💙

The way

I like the way you don't wear aftershave. Yet I remember feeling disappointed at first. Now I'd rather just sense you than any commercial aroma highs. I love the tiny hole at the back of your black jeans and the way your bag is never closed.


Though it puzzled me at first, I now find the exclamation mark you leave at the end of every sentence endearing. How every person that matters to you, is spoken of with such enthusiasm. The way you say you're tiredy and ‘maybe you should’ because you don't want to tell me what to do. That wine is beer and actual beer is irrelevant.


The giggle you do when you look away. Your smile that gives me butterflies. Your tone of voice and emphatic arm waving, when you're strongly making a point. The way you never really shout or get cross.


It might be a million things. I certainly couldn't list them all. I'm adding all the time. It is your minute detail that impresses me. Never stop describing yourself and I'll never stop listening.


The RGF xx

Windows

Today numerous thoughts in my mind were clambering for attention. After some time I finally settled upon a conversation that has never taken place in reality.  For some reason said conversation left me feeling annoyed. I kid ye not.  I was having a real response to something imagined. Moreover, rather than picturing something magical or profound, it was something unpleasant. Thus I activated Spock mode: This is highly illogical captain. Choose your thoughts wisely, they are your windows to the world.

💜💜💜

Flow

And then I meet someone who loves like I do. And I feel it in those moments when our connection is unhindered by filter or distraction or fear or expectation.

There is no reason to stem the tide. There is every reason to let to flow.

Xxx