Not-groovy: Tax Credit Anti-helpline

Can I strongly suggest that the new government employ about 200 more Tax Credit Helpline workers because I really feel like perpetual hold, being cut off after being on hold for an hour and not getting through in the first place doesn't constitute an actual service fronted by a helpline.  Offer a Chat Room Helpline, like Ebay does.  It's still fucking annoying but at least it doesn't cost millions of pounds in a phone bill.   

The Tax Credit Anti-Helpline hold button music is playing as I type this blog.  It has a jazz feel to it.  Thus, I sometimes pretend that I'm in a funky jazz club.  Hi, and welcome to Jazz Club.  This is the Tax Credit Anti-helpline Total Twonk Face Band.

On drums: a repetitive beat, barely perceptible above the bad line crackle.
On bass: totally addicted to bass but after 30 minutes of holding, slowly going off it.
On keyboards: crazy freestyle melody, trying to distract caller from perpetual hold and failing dramatically.
On lead guitar: guitarist has got fed up of the perpetual hold button and has fallen into a crack in the stage, guitarist thinks she's in a alternate utopian dimension filled with pink unicorns.

Cue cutaway shot. *Points then presents a Jazz face*. Total twonks. Not groovy.