Seriously?

As a woman of a certain age, Im very busy living my life.  Yet, I would quite like to meet someone who occupies equal shares of interesting and kind.  It would help tremendously if they were attractive, sexy and intelligent.  In fact, the intelligent part of the package is vital.  I'm not unrealistic.  I expect a potential partner to have a history of some sort. I don't expect a saint, and, in fact, I dont want a saint but I do want someone who understands what being a good person is. And I do want someone who ACTUALLY does good things.  In short, I know what Im looking for but I dont have a lot of time to actually look.  This, in theory, is where a dating site steps in. Yet dating sites bring their own special brand of comedy.  The kind of comedy that is funny, for the all the wrong reasons.  The kind of comedy, where you find yourself asking - seriously? 

I continually ask myself why certain men believe if they make a rude comment in a message, the rude comment will illicit a positive response.  Moreover, why do some men believe it's actually acceptable to approach women without even a nod towards effort.  Effort that might include compliments, dates with wine and food, promises which get adhered to and so on.  Why do certain men believe that they can simply saunter in, offer merely a wing and a prayer, then walk away happy ever after until they get bored.  Is it because we women expect nothing more?  Have we, on some level, lowered our standards.  Have we stopped believing that we are worthy of real romance?

Obviously effort should be about balance.  I, like other women, want to make an effort.  I'm pretty good at compliments, intelligent conversation and Im more than happy to shower a potential partner in romance.  Im happy to put the effort in but Im not pouring lots of time and energy into an empty cup.  In other words, if Im doing all the work and the metaphorical you is doing sod all, then it isn't going to work.  Moreover, it isn't even going to begin.

Gentlemen - you might be influenced by misleading images of gangster rappers shrouded in scantily clad ladies but this isn't reality.  Nor should it be because women are more than an empty pretty shell. Don't expect a woman to install skype and start stripping just because you ask her to.  Don't expect sex. Actually.  Don't. If you want sex, and, most men do, recognise that there is more to life than getting your kit off.  Conversation.  Witty banter.  Culture.  Music. Dancing.  Laughing.  Helping others.  Putting good into the world. These things matter too.  In fact, they matter more.

Make an effort gentlemen.  If you do, you might find someone wonderful.

xx

Help is needed now!

There are many people working hard to help refugees. There are countless volunteers, people donating and fund raisers working to do all they can.

Right now there are 250 people, including children stuck in Farmakosini. They have been without help for days. Help should have now arrived but they need more food, water and warmth until they can get into Leros. Help was on its way by boat. How much faster could it have arrived by air?

There are refugees, including children, stuck on the border here. Desperate for help. https://m.facebook.com/forgotten.idomeni/ 

More could be done by those without access to private planes and vast sums of money. Yet much of the work to help refugees is being done by ordinary people, of ordinary means. 

If a group of well known, infuencial, affluent people donated a fraction of their resources. If they signed petitions and encouraged others to sign and share. If this happened lives would be saved. Moreover, if it perpetuated then many lives would be saved.

I'm calling on those with influence to support refugees. Im asking those with means to help make a big difference.

Large charities do great work but many smaller groups are working hard on the ground to give refugees, victims of circumstance a chance. These groups need influential help.

Please help groups like these to help refugees.

https://m.facebook.com/groups/633458933424233

https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=460007497517533

https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=882751941799554

Aid is vital but so is political progress.
Sign and share petitions like these.

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/113064

https://secure.avaaz.org/en/petition/Prime_Minister_David_Cameron_Recognise_Calais_as_a_humanitarian_not_a_border_issue/?wZegVbb

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/en-gb/takeaction/645/767/164/

The refugee crisis is a huge issue of humanitarian concern. Humans are what we are, humane is what we must be.

Love and peace.


Xxx

Global citizen

I've just been reading posts on this interesting website. We are all citizens of the world.

https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/

Single

My romantic history has tended to be active. There have been long relationships and short ones. In summary, there have been very few gaps since erm about 1990.

Presently one might describe my romantic status as inactive. Inactive since January or so. For a while there, I was pretty darned unhappy about it. Then, somehow, I got a life. I stopped being defined by a relationship status and started a relationship with life.

Life can be active. In other words one can choose to actually live life and that's exactly what I'm doing. Don't get me wrong, I'd quite like to be wined and dined by an intelligent, attractive, kind, bearded fellow but it isn't pivotal. I'm not driven by the desire to have a partner. And I think I was, once upon time.

I have no real idea how id find the time for love, amongst mum daughter time, work time, me time, helping the planet time and family friend time. I could probably squeeze someone in on a Tuesday in 2020.

Isn't it strange that once you stop searching, you realise you found what you were searching for. You see I thought I was looking for a romantic partner. I wasn't. I was looking for myself. Low and behold, I found her.

Xx

Connection

There is much misinformation out there. One cannot believe all we read or hear about. Personal accounts tend to have greater truth than newspapers. And tabloid newspapers don't sell news, they sell stories.

Read between the lines. Question why someone is saying what they are saying. Some people's agendas are not innocent.

Refugees are not terrorists. Terrorists are not religious people. Anyone that deems it OK to take a life, or worse, lives, is a terrible excuse for a human. Thankfully this isnt most people. Most people just want to live their lives in peace.

The response to acts of hate, is acts of love. We can unite. We must unite. We need to stand with refugees, with Muslims, with Christians. We need to stand together across all races, religions, cultures and ages. Divisions are not the answer. Connection is.

Peace,
xxx

Angel card readings for refugees

I'm doing angel card readings to raise money for Aid for refugees. I'm determined to do all I can to help.

People may by wondering what angel card readings are. Well, they are alike tarot but more positive, affirming or guiding. I read my own cards often and find it very helpful. They lift your mood, encourage positivity, provide encouragement and promote intuition.

If anyone wants a reading for £3, let me know. All money will go to buy aid for refugees.

Xx

Connection

I fall

One look

Water drips

Like dew

Your Gaze

On me

Your voice

Penetrating

The corridor

Laughing

I am

Pure impure

Too real

Music, prayer and good vibrations

My playlist this evening focuses on ambient, electronica and female.  Right now I'm enjoying Grimes.  Earlier I was listening to Alpine followed by Goldfrapp. 

I feel very connected with who I am.  I feel very connected with my female self.  I certainly feel like music lifts my soul and I believe it lifts the soul of the planet.  I'm actually vibrating on a positive frequency.  I say this without even the slightest hint of jest. 

I am painfully aware of all the sadness in the world.  I shall do all I can physically alter it.  I shall also do all I can to think the planet happy.  Some call this the act of prayer.  I call it sending positive vibes.  . 

With love

The Renegade Glitter Fairy

Lightning Seeds - My Best Day

ALPINE - Damn Baby

Song of my dreams.  Literally. 

Alpine thoughts

I have been listening to an incredible band called Alpine. I've completely fallen for their melodies and latterly their lyrics.


Two songs stand out for me. Damn baby and Villages. The first of which is relevant to me now. It's about wanting something. The second is about abuse, well so it seems to me. Thus both songs resonate.


Isn't it strange when you stumble upon music that describes features of your life. It's like an accidental story appropriate soundtrack.


xx

Hazel

Philosophical thoughts

Why do we use the English Before Christ (BC) to define events that happened before Christ and the Latin Anno Domini (AD) to describe events that happened after Christ?
Why don't we use Latin for both?  It might make more sense to use Latin for before Christ and English for after Christ, given that Latin is an ancient language and English is widely spoken in modern times.  

Why is three the magic number?  
Moderate research provides possible answers - from religion to alchemy, the number three is significant. Examples of number three's majesty include the Christian Holy Trinity, the Triple Goddess of Wicca, the human retina contains three types of receptor cells, 3 is a lucky and an unlucky number.  Whether these examples and others, makes 3 magic or not, is open to debate.  Perhaps it depends upon one's definition of magic.

What is the significance of a stopped clock telling the right time twice a day (other than it being a quote from Withnail and I)?
My interpretation is that everything has value.  It is simply a matter of perspective.

Rainbows

If feelings had colour
If heartstrings had sound
A million violins
And Infinite rainbows 
Appeared each time
You came around

Beethoven - Moonlight Sonata (FULL)

Random art

Aphrodite ‎-- Atmospheric Drum

Blondie - One Way Or Another

Me things

Things I can't do:
- Burp intentionally 
- Blow balloons up
- Bend my tongue in on itself
- Listen to freestyle jazz
- Talk to men that I really like
- Be someone I'm not
- Talk to people of a frivolous disposition
- Make an entrance
- Small talk
- Stop eating chocolate

Things I do rather well:
- Random acts of kindness
- Remember song lyrics
- Quote lines from iconic films / tv
- Bright crazy hair
- Tattoo addiction
- Overcome my shyness
- Random dance like no one is watching
- Pick up on people's feelings
- Politeness
- Flirt without meaning to
- Multi-task
- Eat chocolate

Spiritual path

I am walking a spiritual path.  I am walking in my own way and at my own speed.  I am allowing my light to shine.  I am true to myself and I operate with kindness.

:0)
xx  

Chumbawamba - Mouthful of shit

It seems to me......

It seems to me that many, if not all, of Goldfrapp's songs were waiting to be heard in the beginning of time.  By this, I don't mean that their work in unoriginal, on the contrary, their work is super original.  It is supremely unique yet seems to draw from the sounds of the earth.

Howl - Florence And The Machine

There is someone who this song still sings for.  Though time has past.  He still has the ability to stop my heart.  He still sends my pulse racing with just a word.  Nothing has really changed.  It probably never will.

Im not here to fix you

If you are broken, do not look to others for your fix.  Mend yourself. 

Lip service?

One wonders if some people just pay lip service to things they think you like just to get a ticket to ride.  One wonders if some people are mostly filled with bullshit.  I would say that it's disappointing but it isn't.  Because that would imply lack of expectation.  There is expectation aplenty here.  To all those who pretend in order to get what they want - the only person you are lying to is yourself.  Falsehoods create bad karma.  If you can't be kind, at least be real.

I tend to be kind.  I tend to be real.  I tend to see the good in people.  I'll try to hold onto all that in the midst of any shit tide that happens to come my way.  Most of all, I shall remember that shit tides are temporal disturbances to the beautiful ocean of life.  Whilst shit tides try and fail to pull me down, I shall crank up the volume on Arcane Roots and swim forwards with determination.

xx 

  

Sleater-Kinney - A New Wave [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Sea Change - Let's Dance - Music Video

A rain dance

It's surprisingly difficult to snooze when a child is doing a rain dance (jumping on the bed), just inches from your head.  This applies even more so, if said child actually jumps on your head.  This said, I enjoyed a few moments of peace this morning, whilst said child 'read' her book.  These moments never last for long. It's interesting that the only days that my child wants to get up early, are the days when we have longer in bed or don't have anywhere to go. Interesting but not amusing. 

xx

A plaster obsession

My daughter has a bit of an obsession with plasters.  She wants a plaster for all minor and non-existent injuries.  Apparently plasters are actually magic.  They can heal all wounds - real and unreal.  With this in mind and because I'm obsessed with lyrics, if she says "I hurt myself" but it's pretty clear that she hasn't.  I respond by singing a line of Johnny Cash's Hurt to her.  It goes a little something like this:

Daughter: *no evidence of accident, proffering invisible wound*  "I hurt myself......"
Mummy: *musically*  ".........today, to see if I still feel".
Daughter: *looks ambivalent, goes off to do something else*.
Mummy: *looks 'comedic', goes off to find plasters*.

PS. Daughter is wrapping a sticker around her thumb as I type.  It's not a sticker mummy, it's a plaster.  The obsession continues.........

Singing for myself

For the first time in the history of my romantic awareness I've sung love songs without a specific person mind.  Since about age 14, I've either been in unrequited love or one half of shared love. 

At this moment I can say with honesty that I only have love for my daughter, myself, my family, my friends and for humanity.  I am not in love.  I am happy.  I am single.  Life isn't perfect.  Life never will be.  But I'm settled with all that I have.   

When I sing, I sing for myself and I listen to the words my soul speaks.

xx 

Don't Mug Yourself - The Streets

I had a hankering for Sharp Darts by The Streets

Not-groovy: Tax Credit Anti-helpline

Can I strongly suggest that the new government employ about 200 more Tax Credit Helpline workers because I really feel like perpetual hold, being cut off after being on hold for an hour and not getting through in the first place doesn't constitute an actual service fronted by a helpline.  Offer a Chat Room Helpline, like Ebay does.  It's still fucking annoying but at least it doesn't cost millions of pounds in a phone bill.   

The Tax Credit Anti-Helpline hold button music is playing as I type this blog.  It has a jazz feel to it.  Thus, I sometimes pretend that I'm in a funky jazz club.  Hi, and welcome to Jazz Club.  This is the Tax Credit Anti-helpline Total Twonk Face Band.

On drums: a repetitive beat, barely perceptible above the bad line crackle.
On bass: totally addicted to bass but after 30 minutes of holding, slowly going off it.
On keyboards: crazy freestyle melody, trying to distract caller from perpetual hold and failing dramatically.
On lead guitar: guitarist has got fed up of the perpetual hold button and has fallen into a crack in the stage, guitarist thinks she's in a alternate utopian dimension filled with pink unicorns.

Cue cutaway shot. *Points then presents a Jazz face*. Total twonks. Not groovy.

    

Damn tories

God damn tories.  Go the fook away.  Boooooooooooo. 

The benefits of being married to Benedict Cumberbatch

The benefits of being married to Benedict Cumberbatch are clearly myriad.  Yet, essentially the key benefit is indicated with the words 'Benedict Cumberbatch'.  Married to Benedict Cumberbatch!  MARRIED TO BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH.  Can you imagine?!  Ye gods, Sophie Hunter - you wonderfully lucky lady. Every day must be a dream.  

xx

Damn hawt

I recently received a message from someone who began said message with the word 'damn'.  In fact, the message came in two parts.  So initially I just received the word 'damn'.  I thought, yikes, a message that starts with a damn, this cannot be good.  Then I got the message "you're so hawt".  For some time I stared at the words.  I recognised the first two, 'you're' and 'so'.  The word 'hawt' was a major stumbling block for me.  It sounded like it probably wasn't a good word.  Never-the-less, I asked my admirer what it meant.  Impatient as I am, in the meantime, I consulted Google.  Happily the urban dictionary enlightened me.  My knowledge of street talk is rather limited.  This likely has something to do with my age.  Apparently, hawt means hot.  And hot means very attractive.  (Obviously I am familiar with the word hot in its' sexual guise). 

Thus I recently received a message which said, for the purposes of the lesser street enlightened few "Goodness, you're very attractive".

On balance, I think I rather like the urban version. 

Nb. I'm happy to receive messages from admirers who wish to bestow an array of complimentary words upon me. Street or otherwise.

xx 

Ice cream

I'm eating peanut butter ice cream and trying to ascertain whether it is one of the seven wonders or an abomination. I could go either way. 

xx

Human beings are a mystery

It is so difficult to understand other human beings. It's like trying to find your way in the pitch black. I find myself stumbling around, falling over my own feet and so on.  Some people are a magical mystery - full of promise and excitement, joy and hope.  Yet others are the kind of mystery that is portrayed in horror films, in other words, you peek beyond the locked, rust encrusted door and then wish you hadn't left the safety of home.

Here's hoping that all my interactions, from this moment forward, will be with first group of people.

Here's to magic, sparkles and smiles.

xx

Amber's amazing artwork

Amber created this amazing piece of art using Cbeebies Paint with Bing.  She controlled the mouse at times, made all the decisions about materials and style.  I think it is fabulous. 

Replay with The Fast Show Special 2014

Thanks to a very lovely gentleman I have been reminded of the majesty of The Fast Show. I really enjoyed watching episode one and two of The Fast Show Special 2014.  It was absolutely perfect.

I used to watch The Fast Show avidly in days gone by.  My favourite sketches included Jazz Club, Brilliant Kid, Ill get me coat, Swiss Toni and Suit you sir.

I was rather sad at the lack of Mark Williams but despite that, The Fast Show update was, unsurprisingly, absolutely 'Brilliant'.

Unsuitable admirers

It's interesting when you can see that someone is physically attractive but conversation with them leaves you completely uninspired or even utterly bored. I experienced this last night. I was rather relieved when a friend came to rescue me from an unwanted interaction with a gentleman.  He talked about himself constantly and the subject matter was entirely without merit.  I curse my good manners because if not for these, I would have walked away sooner. 

It is also interesting to note that not all geek is chic.  In fact, some geek is anything but chic.  I'm a self-confessed sapiosexual.  I get excited by knowledge and even more excited by people that are knowledgeable.  However, intelligence and geekdom are sometimes not enough.  There has to be something more.  Again, this comes down to attraction.  You are either attracted to someone or you're not. 

I went out last night for some much needed me time.  I had a great evening with good people.  Unwanted attention from 'gentlemen' callers notwithstanding.

xx

The beginning

Something is happening today that will take place almost exactly where something else began.  This is poignant.  This is an apt twist of fate.

I doubt I'm placing too much emphasis on it when I say that today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Today is celebration of who I am.  It's a celebration of being true to myself.

Today is the beginning.

xxxx

The Mission - All Tangled Up In You

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I always have.  I'm a very sensitive soul.  I recently came across the term empath.  An empath is someone is able to feel others pain and intuitively sense others emotions.  I think perhaps that I'm an empath.

My heart isn't under lock and key. It's right there on my sleeve.  This is probably why I have been hurt so many times.  Interestingly, no matter how many times I get hurt, my heart remains right there on my sleeve. I don't tangle myself up in defenses.  I remain open.  These days, my heart isn't just on my sleeve, it is painted in luminescent colours and playing a soppy love song.

These thoughts bring me to the song below.  A beautiful track written and performed by The Mission.  I have it on vinyl somewhere.  All Tangled Up in You is the B side to the Like a Child Again single.  I truly love hearing this song.  I would also quite like it if someone was all tangled up in me.

Let them eat cake (a lot)

Can they just remove the calories from chocolate?  Whoever 'they' are.  Surely this must be possible.  And cake.  Remove the calories from cake.  Diet cake.  Cake that actually burns calories. I'd exercise as well. I'd eat my calorie burning cake, then have a little rest, then exercise.  The problem is with lettuce, is that it actually tastes like lettuce. If it tasted like erm cheese or something, it would be yummy.  I'd eat a lot of lettuce if it tasted like cheese.  Basically, lettuce tastes like water.  Solid water but not ice. Ice is nice.  Lettuce probably isn't even healthy. Erm.     

Ramble over.   I'll return to my calorie laden chocolate. 

xx

Stop anti-human crimes - China!

https://go.allout.org/en/s/freethefive/?action_id=29886337&akid=5085.3410490.ZzryMX&ar=1&form_name=act&rd=1

Please please please can people sign the above petition.  Women have been arrested in China simply for handing out flyers which speak up for equality.  These women must be released.  These crimes against humanity must end in China! 

Rocks in ribbons

Rocks in ribbons
did i receive
Words of fake
came to me

Pretence protector
With broken lance
Empty future
No backward glance

Forced promises
and glittering pyrites
Just disturbance
And sham my life

Say NO to anti-gay law

https://go.allout.org/en/s/northern-ireland/?action_id=29756592&akid=5075.3410490.SHF3ZL&ar=1&form_name=act&rd=1

Sign the above to stop the anti-gay law in Northern Ireland.  Anti-gay is anti-human.  xx

Happy rose day

So I have some beautiful roses.  The yellow one is hiding at the back somewhere.  Smiley Hazel. 

How men and women prepare for dates

About an hour before man needs to leave the house, man showers and brushes his teeth.  Man then gets dressed in clothes that are fresh smelling.  Man checks freshness of clothes by carrying out the sniff test. If man is extremely excited about the date he uses aftershave.  Man puts on coat and leaves house.  Arrives at date feeling nervous, looks down at top and notices stray toothpaste. 

About two weeks before the date woman begins date preparations. These, although by no means an exhaustive list, include:

• Crash dieting and exercise attempts to make herself super slim, even though man already knows what she looks like
• Buys new outfit including coordinating accessories, even though man probably won’t notice accessories or, in fact outfit
• Buys completely unneeded new makeup and nail varnish
• Ignores new nail varnish, instead books both pedicure and manicure at over-priced beauty salon
• Attempts to restyle hair
• Applies deep conditioning treatments to hair daily
• Tries on every outfit in wardrobe, at least twice
• Buys new underwear, just in case
• Begins daily skincare routine
• Plucks eyebrows in accordance with current eyebrow styles, guided by Cosmopolitan magazine or similar
• Has numerous discussion with friends about hair, makeup, nails, underwear, outfit and so on
• The day before the date, woman removes unwanted body hair.   If woman hasn’t dated for a while, this process takes a lot of time.  The result is that woman no longer resembles Cousin It. 

From this

 

To this

On the day of the date, woman has a shower about 5 hours before she needs to leave the house.  Woman washes and conditions her hair, then spends approximately 30 minutes exfoliating her skin.  Woman leaves shower about an hour later.  Woman applies half a tub of body lotion to her skin.  Woman combs hair until completely tangle free, then commences hair styling. Woman walks through a cloud of her favourite perfume and sprays some near her crotch area, just in case.  

Woman brushes her teeth for about 30 minutes.  Then the make up application process commences.  This could take anything from 30 minutes to 2 hours.  Woman then tries on everything from her wardrobe again, decides to wear the first outfit she tried.  Woman places all items in her handbag that she believes she might need, plus a fair number of items that she knows she definitely won’t.  For good measure, woman reapplies perfume.  Woman puts on her coat and leaves the house.    Like man, woman arrives at the date feeling nervous, looks down at her outfit and notices stray toothpaste.  

This is a loose guide.  Some of it is moderate exaggeration for comedic effect, except the Cousin It comment, that's factual.  Some people do more prep, some people do less. Never-the-less, preparing for date can be rather terrifying.  Fun but terrifying.

xx

We are here for you 24/7, apparently

There was an offer on the cash machine which read "We are here for you 24/7". You can imagine my excitement.  Free counseling!  So I settled myself down in front the cash machine and started to share my problems.  I waited for a response. I waited for quite some time. But the cash machine absolutely refused to provide any useful insight. Nothing.  Nowt.

Moreover, I have no idea where the 'we' came into it.  There was only one cash machine. 

Me thinks it rather overstated both it's offer and it's number.  Perhaps "Cash available 24/7" would be more apt. 

;-)

It's raining men and interesting thoughts....

So The Weather Girls say that it's raining men.  In response, I'm 50% "quick, it's spitting, everybody in" ala Peter Kaye in his stand up routine, discussing people's response to rain.  In other words, men, argh, run away.  I'm 50% sod the anorak and brolly, I'm gonna do some splashing about with the gentlemen folk.  I wonder which side will landslide........

Probably my favourite song from Dirty Dancing: Overload - Zappacosta

Sometimes you need a bit of Tina Turner

Dating humour

Dating site messages enmeshed in unintentional humour:

"We could talk on the phone then arrange to meet in the presence of your parents with a view to marriage".  - Erm no, just no.  What? 

"The next time I'm free, you could cook for me and we could go for a walk" - What about my availability, what about you cook for me, what about you make a damn effort.

"Nice profile picture Steve".  - Thank you. How kind. But you appear to be confusing me with someone called Steve.  Use a comma in the appropriate places.

"Do you fancy a 3sum". - No, thank you very much, I do not.

".........Would you like to know what I think??".  - Well possibly but appertaining to what?  Just every thought that enters your mind or are we talking specific subject areas.  Vague. Very very vague.

"If I had written down someone who I'd like to get to know you'd make a close fit". - So in other words I'm almost there but not quite. Fabulous.  I'm in. Where do I sign?

"Hey I like your pictures :) let's go on a datee".  - The extra 'e' was in the actual message.  I think we might need a little more than liking pictures before go on a date.  Anyway, you are 20 years old and are unable to spell the word date.

It isn't all doom and gloom. I have met some cool people on dating sites. :)

Too much to ask for?

Is it too much to ask for........

.........Benedict Cumberbatch to pick me up in The Tardis and take me away for two months or so.  We then visit the far reaches of the planet and the universe.  We take regular breaks along the way, where we "lie down and have rest" or something like that, ahem.  We watch the birth and death of stars from a safe distance.  We dance on alien planets and swim in exotic oceans.  We stroll along beaches with marble blue seas.  Then he drops me home, taking me back in time so that I have only been away for a moment......

Seems like a reasonable request to me.    

The Jets - Crush on You (1986)

This song came out when I was still in high school.  At the time, I had something of an epic crush on a boy called Steve.  I made a mix tape for him, it had this song it.  Back then, people made mix tapes.  Moreover, back then, people had music on vinyl or cassette.  These days people make playlists of digital media.  I wonder if people share said playlists with the object of their crush.

I try

Ignoring the "can I be your possession" part - yep - this:

http://listenonrepeat.com/?v=LYIW6MTigGQ#I_Try_-_Macy_Gray_%28With_lyrics!%29

Dating messages again...

A dating site message: how you doin?

I feel like I've been contacted by Joey from Friends.  I can't decide whether this is a good or a bad thing. Maybe if the guy looked like Matt LeBlanc during his Lost in Space era, it would be an epic thing.  Maybe then...... The guy looks nothing like Matt LeBlanc. 

I want a thespian-like introduction.  Is this too much to ask for?  Erm, yes, apparently.  I want the kind of thing Benedict Cumberbatch would say.  That being said, if Benedict Cumberbatch contacted me and was the polar opposite of wit, charm and charisma, I'd take him anyway.  Of course, the chances of Benedict Cumberbatch being the polar opposite of wit, charm and charisma is about as likely as him contacting me in the first place!

xx

221

My views of my new 57 Wisdoms blog is currently at 221.  This made me smile due to 221B Baker Street, the home of Sherlock Holmes. 

xx

Sherlock 21 facts

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/10537064/Sherlock-facts-21-things-you-didnt-know.html

This is a rather interesting list of things that fans might not know about BBC Sherlock.  I found it particularly intriguing to discover that Sherlock is very popular in China and Japan.  Moreover, Japan has a long tradition of Sherlock-influenced, copyright-avoiding manga and anime. 

More evidence that Sherlock is blooming fabulous stuff!

Girls just wanna have fun

On Thursday I saw local authority workers listening to Cyndi Lauper's Girls just wanna have fun.  It was playing rather loud.  One of the workmen was brushing up a work area.  In my mind's eye, I saw this workmen and his colleagues brushing in time to the music - like the chimney sweep scene in Mary Poppins or a workmen version of Flashdance.  This made me chuckle.  There was something comically camp in it.  Doubtless it was happenstance but it still amused me. 

Sometimes it's the little things.....

Singing again

Vocaroo Voice Message


So I decided to share this one again.  The song keeps popping into my mind for some reason.  It isn't relevant right now but at some point, I know it will be.

*As I beam happily at the wonder of life* 

Keith Fit

When I grow up, I want to be Keith Fit.

"Howay bairns. I've been doing star jumps for 20 year, so I knaa what I'm talking aboot".

Jesting aside, perpetual failure doesn't hold Keith Fit back.  He believes in himself.  It doesn't matter how many times he ends up need deep in a mud puddle, he believes he can do anything.  We should all believe in ourselves.  The only limits, are those we create ourselves.  

Sample dating site messages

Today I received the following messages on a dating site:

"Would you be up for a 3sum?"

"Hi beautiful" (this person had no picture or personal information)

"I thought I would have heard from you by now" (followed by a copy and paste of their previous message)

It's not all doom and gloom. I like life.  But it is difficult to see any merit whatsoever in these messages.  Firstly, if you are going to invite someone to have a threesome, spell it correctly!  Secondly, whilst telling someone they are beautiful is quite lovely, surely you can't expect a reply without offering them a picture or personal information.  Finally, the third message is fairly confrontational in my opinion.  It also suggests expectation.  In addition, the copy and paste of their previous message is not only a tad lazy, it's also rather odd.  Are these approaches really going to work?  No, they are not.

On the plus side, dating site interaction is providing useful writing fodder and offers a worrying insight into the human psyche. 

xx

My new blog 57 Wisdoms

If you read this blog, you might want to read my new blog http://57wisdoms.blogspot.co.uk/.  This blog will continue, as per usual.  My new blog is focused on spiritual thoughts, living life with peace and aimed at helping people who have suffered reclaim their personal power. 

xx

Pondering String Theory

I've been aware of String Theory for some time (no pun intended) but I wasn't exactly sure what it was.  I'm still not exactly sure but essentially it seems to have something to do with quantum physics and, amongst other things, wormholes. It's the wormhole element that most interests me. 

Following some fairly low-level research upon dimensional gateways, the spiritual symbolic relevance of triangles, The Red String of Fate and since spotting a piece of art today which was created by my friend's daughter.  All this alongside a theory that my paternal grandfather posited, whereby all elements of the world can be broken down into triangles. I now find myself wondering whether there is an array of dimensional realities so linked by vibrating filaments (strings).  I also wonder whether certain groups of people are linked by strings, loosely in the manner described by the Chinese legend of The Red String of Fate.

The piece of art I saw today, entirely by 'chance' encompassed a number of triangles linked by string.  Some of the string was black and some was red.  The whole piece was tied around an old style picture frame - designed, I believe to provide a contrast between artistic styles of contemporary and traditional.  All the triangles were different and all were connected.  This piece of art further highlighted my thoughts on string theory, connected beings and connected realities.

My dad told me about my grandfathers triangle theory many years ago.  I have no idea when my grandfather shared his thoughts with my dad but sadly my grandfather died long before I was born, and, in fact before my mum met my dad.  Looking at the timeline, my grandfather died before the early phases of String Theory had been posited.  My grandfather's theorized that all elements of the physical world were made up of triangles.  These triangles might not be obvious to the naked eye but could be discerned at a microscopic level.  It's unclear to be whether he thought these triangles were gateways or could act as gateways between dimensions but it's possible that he did.  I shall quiz my dad on this. 

Triangles and, oddly enough, fish or the triangular shape of a fishes tail can be seen in an array of spiritual discourse.  It would seem that triangles and fish symbolize gateways to other dimensions. Of course spiritual symbolism might be seen as worlds apart from scientific theory.  Yet might these seemingly disparate elements be linked?

Might other dimensions actually exist, might triangles somehow provide actual gateways to other dimensions, might beings and dimensions be connected by string?  These are interesting questions, ones that I shall ponder upon further and share on this very blog. 

xx

Assembling independence

I have assembled a buggy and baby chair for my daughter's dollies, largely because her birthday is imminent.  I'm super impressed with my achievements.  In the past I would have asked for help. Yet I'm more than capable of assembling things.  In fact I'm on it like a damn Easter bonnet.

I can feel a bout of Destiny's Child's Independent Woman coming on.   I'm fairly sure they don't mention toy DIY in their lyrics so I'm adding a line or two....
 
The toy buggy
I fixed it
The toy dolly chair
I made it
I depend on me
(I depend on me)

All the women who are independent
Throw your hands up at me
All the mummys who makin' money
Throw your hands up at me
All the mamas who profit sterling
Throw your hands up at me
All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me

*Gives herself a round of applause. Bows and curtsies for balance*.

xx

Compassion

If we operate with compassion then we will be happier.  If we have compassion for others then we will feel a sense of calm.  Expect nothing in return, only feel happy to have compassion. Expectation leads to disappointment. True giving expects nothing in return.  True giving provides a sense of joy just by giving.

Send love to those that have hurt you.  Think of them kindly.  It can be hard to do this.  For some hurts, it can even seem impossible.  But do try.  The more kind, loving thoughts you have, the better you will feel.  The more act of kindness you give, the happier you will be.  However, don't expect thanks or for those acts of kindness to be returned.  Just move on.  Kindness will be returned when you're not looking for it. 

Hate only encourages more hate.  Pure love encourages more pure love.

Yesterday I discussed behaviour management in children.  Children thrive on attention. The attention can be positive or negative. When a child is applauded and acknowledged for doing something wonderful, they beam.  They also respond to shouting.  Generally they respond to shouting by continuing to behave in an undesirable way because they have attention.  Children mirror the actions of those they spend time with.  If you shout, they will shout.  If you demonstrate pure love and compassion, they too will demonstrate pure love and compassion.  In a sense, this continues into adulthood.  It is very hard to respond to a person who is shouting, with compassion.  It is very hard to feel a sense of love in times of turmoil.  It is very easy to respond to anger, with anger.  It is very easy to see something barbaric on the news then respond mentally with thoughts of hate towards to the people who have carried out terrible crimes.  You might even say it's understandable.

The world does not want a cycle of hate and horror.  The world needs a cycle of love and compassion.  Though it is difficult, respond to horror with thoughts of compassion.  Mentally send the perpetrators of terrible acts compassion.  Mentally encourage them to see the love they have lost from their hearts.  It might sound pointless but it isn't.  If it does nothing else, it will provide you with a sense of calm rather than a sense of anger.  

Have you ever walked into a room and picked up on an uncomfortable atmosphere?  Yet the room is quiet, the people in the room are watching tv or carrying out some domestic activity but there is a sense of awkwardness.  Perhaps those in the room have just had a huge argument.  Perhaps they have even come to violence.  They seem calm now but internally they are not calm.  They are doing normal things, they even smile, they say nothing but the sense of turmoil can be discerned.  What are we responding to here?  We are responding to negative feelings.  We are responding to energy.  This is because we are all connected.   We are all energy.  This being the case, by working on positivity, on compassion and pure love.  By sending positive feelings into a room, into the world - this is what we will create. 

xx
 

What about second breakfast?

A dream come true

Yesterday I was told that I'm a dream come true, which was nice (nod to The Fast Show).  I note that this person hadn't actually met me, beyond a brief visit to my dating profile.  Thus I was a dream come true based on my photographs and bio alone.  Needless to say he likely sent this message to more than one lady. Moreover, and perhaps unsurprisingly his enthusiasm for me was not mirrored by my enthusiasm for him. 

Although, coincidentally, each morning, I jump out of bed, and run, childlike, to the full length bathroom mirror, sweep back my perfect-not-at-all-dragged-through-a-hedge-backwards hair, pout at my reflection and say "damn Hazel, you're a dream come true".  Then I punch the air triumphantly and breeze about my day.   Yes.  Okay no but I am practicing self-love . Not self-worship, that would be most worrying but I am trying to see myself as lovely. 

So I suppose it is possible that this man really did deem me a dream come true.  Perhaps I should acknowledge his compliment, over the top though it be.

xx 

Inspirations

Yesterday eve I watched the film Lucy.  I'm fond of sci-fi and fantasy orientated films.  Indeed, these two are my genres of choice.  I'm also fond of films that depict strong women.   I did not expect to feel a greater sense of spirituality following the film, yet I do.  

I'm slowly strolling along a spiritual path.  I'm meditating more, savouring the moment, being mindful, carrying out angel rituals and listening to my inner wisdom.  I've long been open to spirituality but I'm becoming ever more open to it.  I didn't imagine for a moment that a Luc Besson film would encourage spiritual thoughts.  Without giving too much away, the film poses questions about the meaning of life.  It reminded me that we, human beings are connected to each other.  We are likewise connected to animals, to matter, to light, to trees and so on.  It highlighted that we are all cells trying to evolve. We are all trying to be more than we are.  

There were moments in the film of great horror and there were moments of great beauty.  Indeed these moments were often simultaneous in their portrayal - which reminded me that positive and negative forces are two sides of the same coin.

Through the film, I now wonder how much of the brain human's actually use.  Interestingly, the film posited a theory about cerebral capacity which I think echoes science fact.  Certainly, it would be interesting to see what people could actually do if they operated at 100%.  Perhaps we would be further enlightened.

The film also pointed towards a correlation between a more primal way of life and enlightenment.  This too was interesting, often the idea of a sophisticated society tends to be viewed as more evolved, as better.   The human's great technological achievements, our powers to 'harness' the world's resources, our complex social structures and our ever-present 'need' to acquire wealth, is seen, by some, as vital and the pinnacle of development.  Whereas those peoples more connected to nature, perhaps living a more tribal way of life are seen as under-developed.  Of course different discourse exists.  Many now see great merit in a more natural way of life.  American Indian or Aboriginal peoples, for example, are now esteemed by Western society.  

So Lucy has encouraged me further along my spiritual journey, an unexpected but welcome outcome to watching another great Besson film.  

xx

Life is learning

The meaning of life is a question that people often wonder about.  I think life is learning.  It's about learning to be, learning to live, it's about acquiring knowledge and sharing knowledge.  I don't refer to the type of learning one carries out in school or college, although that too has great merit, I refer to a deeper knowledge.  The knowledge of the world, of people, of giving and receiving love. 

We are all connected. 

xx

Theme song on repeat

I've played my theme song three times via You Tube.  This indicates how I'm feeling today.  I need an extra boost.  Singing my theme song in my head wasn't enough, singing it out loud wasn't enough - Barry was needed. 

Some days are harder than others. That's life. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtwOeoeWhoo

xx

This needs reposting

http://1974haze.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/im-not-footnote.html

I am not a footnote.

For those about to be inked

For those about to be inked, we salute you.  Before diving in, have a read of these tips via Inked magazine.  Ink is for life.   

http://www.inkedmag.com/10-tips-getting-tattoo/7/

Plus a shout out for Ineffible Ink https://www.facebook.com/IneffableInk?fref=ts.  They are totally awesome. 

xx

I am worthy

Upon listening to George Harrison's 'I've got my mind set on you', I realise something.  I realise that I want someone to put the effort in.  Luckily for them, whoever they may be, it isn't going to take "a whole lot of spending money" but it is "gonna take time, a whole lot of precious time". It's going to take time and effort and plenty of putting me on a damn pedestal.      

Because I'm worth it.  (And I mean that in the most self-affirming, non-up-my-own-arsey way).  We are all worthy of love. We are all worthy of romantic love and love generally.

xx  

An 'interesting' offer

I had an offer.  Someone offered to be my manservant.  Really, really.  I thought, oh fabulous - someone is offering to do all my mind-numbingly boring housework then simply go home again. Apparently, I completely misunderstood the 'offer' which, in fact, had distinctly sexual connotations.  Who knew! 

Okay, I jest somewhat.  I did have an offer of servitude but I understood the connotations which is why I didn't reply to the message. 

Dating sites: it's takes all sorts. 

xx

Advice for men

 MEN - if you have put yourself on a dating site, do not, I repeat, do not take pictures of yourself without your top on.  It doesn't matter how beautiful you are / or think you are.  It really doesn't.  Put your top on.  Unless you have tattoos, then take it off - kidding.   Although that's fine for a Pinterest page appertaining to tattoos or similar.  Women are not more likely to message you, if you remove your top.  They are less likely to.  It just makes women think you are after one thing.  Moreover, it makes women (yes I'm generalising) think, he must really fancy himself. Hardly room for him to fancy anyone else is there. 

And another thing - if you message someone and they don't reply, don't send them another message asking why they haven't replied because the answer is damn obvious - the woman in question is NOT INTERESTED. 

I shall now get off my soapbox.  I'm getting dizzy up here. 

PS. As the Stereophonics once said "I'm just looking, I'm not buying".  I'm tentatively dipping my toe in the dreaded sea of dating .  Eventually I'll take the plunge but for now, I'm barely paddling. 

Dinah Washington: Mad About The Boy

9 1/2 weeks

So, I've never seen the film, 9 1/12 weeks.  I didn't know that Joe Cocker's, 'You can leave your hat on' was used in the soundtrack.   I now know.  Watching the scene where Kim Basinger's character dances for Mickey Rourke's character, maybe it's worth a watch. For anyone wondering, I can confirm that Kim does not leave her hat on.  She does, however, briefly cover up with a coat.

xx

Joe Cocker - You can Leave Your Hat on

'You can leave your hat on' was written by Randy Newman.  What a damn song.  I do prefer Cocker's version but big kudos to Newman who is artistically responsible for such an incredible piece of music.

So I was feeling rather grumpy due to bad hormonal imbalances.  A cuppa, my theme song (see previous post), a bit of Hot Chocolate's 'You sexy thing' and both Randy Newman and Joe Cocker's version of 'You can leave your hat on', and, yes I'm feeling pretty darned good now.  Tea and feeeeeeeel gooooood music, sometimes it's more than enough.

Moreover, if you're wondering, yes "I know what love is" ;-). 

Buffer face

Comedic affirmations

I recorded myself speaking aloud a list of positive affirmations.  I've just played it back.  Alongside the meditation music playing in the background, I can hear my daughter pretending to cut her play doh with safety scissors.  I can hear "cut, cut, cut, cut".  I can't work out whether this adds or takes away from the positive messages.  It makes me laugh so I guess it's a helpful, if unexpected addition. 

xx

Affirmations

http://www.lightworkersworld.com/2013/05/life-changing-tools-5-tips-to-super-charge-your-affirmations/

This is helpful.  Affirmations really help to change your perspective and lift your mood.  

Be open - forgive, love

Amber's creation

Joyce Sims - Come into my life

And another soul orientated example of a song that gets it totally right.

Princess - Say I'm Your Number One

I used to adore this song.  Another example of an RnB, soul orientated tune.  Yet, awesome.  xx

Millie Jackson - Hot! Wild Unrestricted! Crazy Love

I loved this song when I first heard it.  I'm not much of a RnB aficionado.  It's not my area or genre of choice.  Yet there are some songs, ooooh there are some songs within the genre that really tick my boxes. This song is one of them.  There is something about the music.  And clearly there is something about the lyrics.  It's about passion and really feeling sexual love.  :)

Sending some love

I'm sending some love to everyone.  EVERYONE.  All the beings on the planet and beyond.  Not just the people.  The animals too.  Even the scary ones.  I'm sending love to all.  Valentines Day might be considered a crass and commercial pointless waste of energy. It might be considered a celebration of romantic love.  I think it should be celebration of all love.

So I'm celebrating Valentines Day by sending some love to all.  Moreover, I'm listening to Chaka Khan, I feel for you whilst drinking lovely Rioja.  Chaka Khan's song is clearly about romantic love.  Yet I believe it could be interpreted as thoughts of compassion.  Of living one's life with humility.  Of valuing our fellow being.  If we all have compassion for others, then the world will be a much happier place.

I don't always get it right.  I sometimes fail to considers others feelings.  This is because I sometimes float around in a Hazel bubble.  But I'm trying ever harder to get it right.  I'm trying ever harder to be true to me and simultaneously live my life with kindness.

It can be hard to see the truth of situations.  It can be hard to work to the highest good of all.  But it's worth the effort.  People matter.  I'll expand that, all living beings matter.  With this in mind, from this moment, I will work hard to consider the feelings of all beings.  I will try to live my life with the utmost kindness and humility. 

Big love to all,

xx

Don't Make Promises by Joan Baez

Vocaroo Voice Message   So I'm at it again, singing on my blog.  This song is relevant to me for more than one reason.  I also absolutely love it.  Upon checking, I'm singing in the wrong key.  Oooops. The wrong key but still a good key.  ;)

And here's the epic Joan Baez singing it:




xx

The one ring

Okay so the ring to which Im referring isn't the one ring (that's gone to dust in the fires of Mordor).  The ring to which I'm referring is my ring, my own precious. Sorry, I've gone all LOTR again.  Ahem it's a ring that my mum gave to me today.  Years ago, unbeknown to me, my mum was going to give me a ring as a birthday present.  It was a ring she had once bought from Blue John Mines about 30 years ago.  A ring that I think once contained Blue John.  She lost the original stone so had an amethyst crystal added.  Once the ring had been altered, she wasn't sure it was good enough to give to me.  So rather than take it back to the jewelers, she put it in a box and forgot all about it.  There it has remained for around 10 years.  Today I'm wearing said ring.

It has come to me at a time when I'm becoming ever more spiritual.  I've been doing mindful meditations, angel rituals and other spiritual things.  From what I understand about crystals and their healing properties, amethyst is associated with increased spirituality and enhanced intuition.  I believe that this ring was meant to come to me now.  I wasn't meant to receive it earlier.  (Mock me you cynics, I dare you).  ;-) 

As Sam Baldwin said in Sleepless in Seattle - "what's that thing called when everything fits together".  In answer, he jokingly says "The Bermuda Triangle".  He jokes because his friend is pretending to fix him up with a demanding Architectural client.  It's also meant as a nod towards fate and destiny.  The actual answer to the question is synchronicity - when seemingly unrelated events just fit together.

As I step along my spiritual path and continue my life's journey.....I'll be wearing my amethyst ring.........

xx

I am my own knight

As a child growing into a teen, I thought a metaphorical knight in shining armour would come and rescue me.  I really thought a man would come into my life and sweep me off my feet.  As time past, I began to be aware of more feminist discourse, never-the-less I never let the idea of a metaphorical knight go.  Until right now.  This moment.  I'm open to romantic love.  I still believe in soulmates.  But I am my own rescuer.  I'm surrounded by love - that of my daughter, my family, my friends and love for myself. 

I've had many periods of doubt.  I've wondered if I can live this life as a single mum and manage all avenues of life on my own.  I realise that I can.  I feel a strong sense of who I am and, moreover, I feel strong. 

Life will throw many challenges at me. Life throws challenges at everyone.  I know I can overcome these challenges.  I can do this because I believe that I can. 


xx

Unfinished

"Unfinished Sympathy"

I know that I've been mad in love before
And how it could be with you
Really hurt me baby, really cut me baby
How can you have a day without a night
You're the book that I have opened
And now I've got to know much more

The curiousness of your potential kiss
Has got my mind and body aching
Really hurt me baby, really cut me baby
How can you have a day without a night
You're the book that I have opened
And now I've got to know much more

Like a soul without a mind
In a body without a heart
I'm missing every part

Beats International Dub Be Good To Me

My theme song: Ally McBeal, Barry White

I used to watch Ally McBeal.  It was incredible TV viewing in it's early phases.  Totally surreal and completely crazy.  Just like me.  I connected with an idea in the programme, which started with the character John Cage.  Before court he would use Barry White's epic song, 'My first, my last, my everything' to get himself into the zone.  The song seemed to increase his confidence and was almost magical.  I was so impressed with the idea, that many years ago, I decided I needed my own theme song. Being totally without imagination, ;-) I decided to use the same song as John Cage.

I forgot all about my theme song until this very moment.  Now, my theme song is back.  The next time I need a boost, I shall sing 'My first, my last, my everything' in the privacy of my mind and, on occasion, I'll sing it out loud.  Personal theme songs - it's the future.   

Bob Dylan genius

'Don't think twice it's alright' has just come on Vintage TV.  Such an epic song.  I prefer Joan Baez's voice and melody but Bob Dylan, your lyrically genius stands up amongst greats.

BBC Sherlock Series 3 Soundtrack - Waltz for John and Mary (From The Sig...

The red string of fate

The red string of fate is a Chinese http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_string_of_fate legend based around the idea that two people are tied together or destined to be. Generally it is thought that two people are connected by a red string from their little fingers. This idea of predestined lovers, is similar to that of the Western notion of a soulmate.

The red string of fate is also present in Japanese legend.  It has been referenced in Magna, Anime, film and music.

Regarding music, I'm drawn to two tracks by Sucioperro called 'Reflexes of the dead' and 'Threads'. In both tracks, the protagonists are connected by red string. The songs suggest that the connected two remain tied together, no matter what. The album these tracks are taken from is called 'The heart strings and how to pull it'. This again echoes the red string of fate legend.

I've always been fascinated by fate and destiny. In particular, I like the idea of a soulmate. Whether fate has any connection to reality is open to debate. Contemporary fiction is filled with the idea of star-crossed lovers that will somehow be together, against all the odds.  In this vein, two films that stand out for me are 'Sleepless in Seattle' and 'An affair to remember'.  As fans of the first will know, 'Sleepless in Seattle' heavily references 'An affair to remember'.  I believe that art follows life and life follows art.  Perhaps with the red string of fate and similar concepts, fiction captures more than myth and legend. 

The red string of fate or soulmate love, is a far-fetched notion for some. In particular those people who rely upon logical explanations.  In my opinion, some things have no logical explanation.  Some things just are.  Some things happen simply because they are meant to.  Perhaps the red string of fate is one of those unexplainable realities that sits outside known logic. I certainly hope that it is. 

Xx