28 June 2010

Post-sex indifference syndrome

Does your man suffer from Post-sex indifference syndrome? The well-known period just after orgasm where the male of the species has the urge to:

Wander off
Use his computer
Fart
Ignore you
Fall asleep

If you suffer the effects of I-have-come-therefore-you-are-no-longer-very-interesting then take action now!

Try the following:

Wander off and do something straight after sex before he has the energy to get up
Clasp him in a over-powering embrace until Post-sex indifference syndrome turns into Pre-sex excitement (this could take a while, depending on the male in question)
Take your bi-curious tendencies and make them more gay than straight (women do not suffer from Post-sex indifference syndrome)
Become celibate
Avoid love and focus on casual no strings entanglements
Accept that most men don't really want to cuddle and chat after sex so get your cuddling and chatting in beforehand.

Thank you and goodnight.

27 June 2010

The face of pure evil

The character below is the face of pure evil. A character that scared the shit of me when I was a child. Venger from kids television programme Dungeons and Dragons. I wasnt even that young when I watched it. Seriously though, look at this guy, he is a bucket full of horror. Mind you I was also scared of:

Daleks
Doctor Who (Tom Baker era)
The Incredible Hulk
The dark
Motorbikes
Loud noises
Girls world heads

26 June 2010

Big Brother on with the sound down

I have Big Brother on with the sound down. What's that all about? I have it on = silly idea. The sound is down = probably for the best but why don't I just change the channel. Apparently, it's as compelling as it is awful. Compelling enough to prevent me for channel changing. Even though I can't hear what they are saying. I think I may be Uni work avoiding. No change there then.


I almost furkled in what I thought was the reduced items trolley today before I discovered that it belonged to a shopper. In my defense she did have a trolley full of reduced items.

25 June 2010

My parent's interpretation of the iPad

I arrived at my parent's house one afternoon to discover much hilarity. Apparently they'd heard an advert on the radio for the new iPad. My dad, relaxing in a rare afternoon off work, decided to produce his own version. You can see his creation below, demonstrated by both my parents:



Personally, I think this version is much better.

22 June 2010

Can I get away with a cricket Manchester lad style white hat? Sun stroke worry says I can.

10 June 2010

Too much

You know you're too busy when you are trying to take a relaxing break by watching CSI but on every advert break you nip off to do some housework! Not major housework obviously but housework none-the-less.


09 June 2010

Glam Wrexham - Glam DJ Jordan James at Area 51, Manchester - this Friday - http://www.glam-wrexham.co.uk/glam_DJ_jordan_james_area51.html

Impulse

When a man you've never met before suddenly gives you flowers. Use pepper spray. They are probably a stalker.


The above post is meant for humorous purposes only. I do not advocate the use of pepper spray on flower giving men. Please do not take this post literally.

08 June 2010

Mozart

Every time I listen to Piano Concerto No. 21 in C Major by Mozart I feel like I'm surrounded by majestic angels. It truly is the most beautiful piece of music. Everything about it is musically perfect.

Whether the Mozart effect is false or real, I don't know but I do know that his music has a tremendously wonderful effect on me.

02 June 2010

Website coming soon - http://www.preston-dance.co.uk - designed by http://www.solarchidesigns.com
Website coming soon - http://www.beauxboutique.com - designed by http://www.solarchidesigns.com
Website coming soon - http://www.itka-karate-greatbritain.com - designed by http://www.solarchidesigns.com
Brite Futures - http://www.britefutures.co.uk
Blackburn Therapy - Therapy in Blackburn - http://www.blackburn-therapy.co.uk
Blackburn Therapist - Therapist in Blackburn - http://www.blackburn-therapist.co.uk
Blackburn Counselling - Counselling in Blackburn - http://www.blackburn-counselling.com
Blackburn Counsellor - Counsellor in Blackburn - http://www.blackburn-counsellor.co.uk
Preston Therapy - Therapy in Preston - http://www.preston-therapy.co.uk
Preston Therapist - Therapist in Preston - http://www.preston-therapist.co.uk
Preston Counselling - Counselling in Preston - http://www.preston-counselling.co.uk
Preston Counsellor - Counsellor in Preston - http://www.preston-counsellor.co.uk

01 June 2010

Vote for The Tetleys to win XFM competition by commenting at http://www.xfm.co.uk/onair/shows/manchester/xfms-england-house-band-wednedays-selection

Get wise, use a bucket!

Saving water is a key method to preserve the environment, it's also vital to save money on your water bill if you have a water meter. One way to do this is to flush the toilet using waste water collected in a bucket. This can be rain water, left of water after washing dishes and any other method of gathering water that would otherwise go down the drain. According to Waterwise toilet flushing uses a massive 30% of total water in a household. Even modern toilets on half or reduced flush uses 4 litres of water in flush. Full flush uses 6 litres. Old style toilets use 13 litres of water per flush!

You can buy cistern displacement devices (go to Waterwise for more on this) but really why bother, just use a bucket full of waste water to flush. You also don't really need to flush every time you go for a wee (sorry for mentioning toilet-use words) but obviously you really do need to flush if any other toilet activity occurs (inc when ladies wee at that special time of the month, red water isnt nice to see). During these time flush-vital times, use a bucket to flush your loo, it works well.

If visitors come round, you can save the automatic flushes for them!

Save water, save the environment, save on your water bill.


The video below shows me, a bucket and some manual flushing of our loo. Mark is the man operating the camera phone. We do have fun in our house. :-)

Eminem Parody - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMyl3ikNFi4

Essay perception

Essay - only a few short weeks since the last essay and I have another. That Im blogging is prob an indication of the impending deadline. I do have a talent to get really into blogging when I have an essay to write.

Perception - some weeks seem short and others seem endless. Time measurement is fixed but time perception is fluid. When an essay is due, time rushes past me and when I'm sat in the office the minute hand appears to move around the clock at a snails pace. Sad but true.

Food

Try a cheese sandwich with mayo and pesto - it's really rather lovely. Healthy too, well no but it is very tasty.
Westhoughton Karate - http://www.westhoughtonkarate.co.uk - Karate in Westhoughton

Grrrrr!!!

Studying is annoying me today. Universities can be very restrictive sometimes. Don’t they realise that I have a life beyond my Degree? I’m not 20 year that needs structure in my life, I have plenty of structure already. I think I’m going to stop being a proper grown-up henceforth. I have a urge to go and sit on a hill somewhere, perhaps take some loud music with me and blast it out into the atmosphere. I have an urge to eat a very large chocolate bar (actually I always have that urge).


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