The return

I had been waiting for the return. In fact my soul had half-written a blog post in anticipation of this.

If time is not linear but somehow circular, moreover, if each moment exists concurrently then maybe I knew the return would happen because it already had, is, will or maybe it was just hope. More importantly, perhaps the tenure of the return is different than I deemed. It was not his return but a return to me that I awaited.

I once said that I felt more like myself when I was him. That was true.  But in order to be completely myself, I had to feel it with or without him. I feel this now. 

I'm no longer waiting. Nothing has been lost. Everything is exactly as it should be. I have returned to myself because whatever seemed lost had never really gone.

There is also a chicken and egg situation here: I'm very excited that someone new has stumbled into my life. I don't know if he arrived because I stopped waiting or if I stopped waiting because he arrived. And it doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm enjoying him in each moment. It is a connection of present and presence. In other words, it will remain for as long as it should and we'll enjoy each passing moment.

The RGF

Xxx

Blanket of silence

I pick up the hope filled jug.
Then pour it on the flames.
The hope is not you now.
You were fire, once dancing,
with love's swirling rage.
Left -
this blanket of silence,
covers me, wet, like rain.
I glance back, blinking.
Only empty space remains.
I close the lid.
Sighing.
Then slowly walk away.

Fragments

As I sang fragments of The Incidentals today, I smiled at recent memories. 😊

Blue flowers

Winding blue flowers

Around the broken clock

With frail desires

That you’ll forget-me-not

Pressing petal pieces

Into fractured time

Like inky pathways

That no longer chime

Soul's futile longing

Twine untwined, adrift

Loose ends reaching

To nowt but a rescind

~My eyes are still clouding​

At your whisper on the wind~