Strange attractions

Today I discovered something new about myself. A strange fact that I have decided to share. Yet I do so with trepidation because I suspect that this revelation is a little off the beaten track.

Today, as I stood surveying an array of sandwiches, my nose stumbled upon an aroma. As I breathed it in, I found that I began to involuntarily bite my lip because I was attracted to the smell. You'll be pleased to know that I'm not attracted to the smell of sandwiches. I love a good sandwich as much as the next woman but I don't wish to date one. That'd be weird and highly impractical. The smell that invoked my excitement was a mixture of aftershave (no shock there) and, wait for it, cigarette smoke (say what). Yes that awful habit that has no redeeming features whatsoever, somehow became sexy when combined with aftershave. I know! I'm a shocked as you are.

The aftershave wearer himself wasn't my type. In fact he was, to all appearances, the king of chavs. He had more testosterone than a post-many-Stella footie fan and was highly (or should that be lowly) vertically challenged.

I began to wonder why I reacted as I did. Am I less vanilla than I thought? Have I stumbled upon a strange fetish? Is this the end of my sanity? In fact i think the reason for moderate arousal is rather more banal: it stems from memories of ex boyfriends, many of whom smoked and a fair few of those smokers occasionally wore aftershave. I've been single for quite some thus lack the excitement of romance. Case in point: I recently felt secretly pleased when a bus driver complimented me on my leg ink. :-/

A warning is probably required: If you are wearing aftershave and have just put out a cigarette, brace yourself, I may not be able to control myself.

Yours

The Renegade Glitter Fairy

Mr Big

……..I'm sooooo witty right now. Midas has absolutely nothing on me. Words don't fail me, they practically worship the ground I walk on. Yep. I'm  on it like an Easter bonnet. Ok. Erm. I exaggerate a little. All right, all right. I exaggerate a lot. I do, however, appear to be in a witty phase of the month. Witty and quietly confident,  that is until he walks in…..

We'll call him Mr Big. Not because he's tall. Actually he isn't. But because he is important, in that senior management kinda way. Moreover he practically screams charisma. He is suave without intending to be. And his smile, his laugh, the twinkle in his eyes…. Anyway….. sailed off for a moment there. Ahem. The name Mr Big is also a gentle nod towards Carrie Bradshaw and friends from Sex in the city…..

…....when he walks in, I'm far more woooo than wit. In that I'm thinking woooooo but completely forget how to wit. Indeed, I wouldn't know banter if it wandered over and formally introduced itself. In his presence, my face glows like traffic light stuck on Stop. Put me atop of a lighthouse and the foggiest of fog wouldn't dim my glow. The ships would be safely guided in. Men, however would be running for the hills. Red on lips is amazing but red bouncing off your cheeks like a hyperactive disco is not a good look.

I should have contoured my face the day he came. I should have worn a short skirt, glossed my lips, lined my eyes, shaped my brows, had two months hard slog in the gym. But no. Instead, i was flushed, make up free, trousered and scraped into a bad bun.   

Mr Big needed admin support. Whoopee. My chance. My confidence said, go, be admin. Help this man. My shyness said, nooooo hide. Yes hide even though he has already seen you and sliding under your desk would probably seem a trifle odd.

He wasn't talking to me directly. He was talking to the team and he needed something scanning. I suggested my colleague, she suggested me, I erm suggested another colleague and yet another colleague erm suggested me. A pattern was forming here. Everyone wanted me to scan his documents. Everyone suggested me and I, rather comedically, suggested everyone else. We must have looked like a group of work shy buffoons. In reality I was just shy and everyone knew I liked him. So I scanned his documents. Well, I tried. Suddenly standard office equipment masqueraded as the Krypton Factor. Double sided scanning may as well have been learn Latin in day. I had no clue. I called upon two colleagues for assistance, eons later, success, we actually turned the documents over manually. Who needs double sided functions anyway.

 Mission complete. He said thank you. I confidently said “you're welcome”. Confidence took its time to make an appearance but it got there eventually.

Mr Big left the building. And I sank into my chair, as a marathon runner sinks into the finish line. I took a while to recover but normal service resumed eventually.

The Renegade Glitter Fairy. Xxx

Living art: refugee crisis

Conceptual art, social commentary and nature in one space. Sadly, the plight of refugees effects so many people. This piece of art captures the injustice. It also highlights the terrible juxtaposition between the haves and the have-nots.

http://www.thehappygardeners.co.uk/rhs-flower-show-highlights-plight-of-60-million-refugees/

Changes

Life is change. Yet as humans, we cling to our routines, our habits, the familiarity that makes us feel like we have control. Even though the only true constancy is the ebb and flow of life.

Routines are a helpful way to forge a pathway through the flux. Then, of course, we have to build new patterns because our lives alter dramatically. We get used to the new, the new becomes familiar, then change comes again. And so it goes. 

If more of us embraced life like a surfer embraced the wave, if we made organic adjustments continually, flowing with the wave rather than resisting it, then change would feel a lot more comfortable. It might even feel familiar. And in fact, it is familar because life is change. 

Yours The Renegade Glitter Fairy

Valentines: surrender and release

I wrote the blog post below back in 2009.  My life is dramatically different now.  Yet one factor remains, I still find it difficult to let things go. Or, as the blog post title calls it - to surrender and release.  Given that I still struggle, years later, this rather begs the question - how does one let go of something you have a vested interest in?  And why is it so difficult to let go.  The answer to the second question lies in the first.  It's difficult because whatever the issue is, it matters to you.  When something matters, it tends to take centre stage your mind. Thus it is very difficult to let it go.  The first question, how does one let things go, is rather more difficult to answer. 

http://1974haze.blogspot.co.uk/2009/06/surrender-and-release.html?showComment=1296012304181#c7712115496600415677

The follow little tips will help:
1. Focus on something else, anything else.  It really doesn't matter what - the trick is to pull your mind to other thoughts.  Once you have done that, and continue to do that, the issue has less power over you and you begin to let it go.
2. Imagine the issue, whatever it may be, floating away like a kite.  The success of this depends on how visual you are as a person. 
3. Tell someone how you feel.  By passing the feelings on, you effectively them go
4. Write your feelings down.  This works in a similar way to telling someone how you feel. 
5. Remind yourself of how fabulous you are.  This isn't conceited, it's about valuing the person that you are.
6. If the thing of focus is pain someone has caused you then mentally forgive the person. You don't have to forgive the action, just the person.  It doesn't let them off the hook, it lets you off the hook.  In other words, forgiveness brings peace.
7. Engage in physical activity. Don't just carry the activity within your body, actually embody it.  Get lost in the exercise.
8. Listen to music.  Actively listen.  Allow the music to wash over you.  When other thoughts pop in, gently let them go.  This is the same as being mindful.
9.  Be mindful.  Engage in meditation.  Focus on your breath and keep repeating the process until you feel more at peace.
10.  Get lost in someone else's story.  Ideally read a book or listen to a play but watching an engaging film would also work.  It's about focusing your thoughts on the story, the dialogue, the scenery and so on.

Repeat some or all of the above until the issue has floated away.  It takes practice and time.  Like I said back in 2009, it's still work in progress for me.  Quite probably, it always will be.

Peace, love and valentines blessings

The Renegade Glitter Fairy

xx