Unexpected feathers

We spent a hefty percentage of the day at hospital because of a poorly baba.  Thankfully she seems much better now.  Children are so changeable when ill.

In an unprecedented move, I'm not going to write about the trials and tribulations of parenting a toddler with a raging temperature or our turbulent time at hospital.  Instead, I'm going to write about a wig and a feather boa! 

Now that was an unexpected change of direction.  Without explanation, a feather boa and a wig likely conjures up images of burlesque dancers.  And I must admit, when I spotted my boa and wig in the bathroom, that's exactly what popped into my mind. Yet, the reality is far less spicy.  My wig and purple feather boa were drying on the side of the bath due to some quality time, hitherto, with shampoo and water.

Yes, the current context of my boa and wig is a million miles from spicy but with a bit of luck and time, that could change.  Burlesque themed party anyone?

xx

Im(possible)

Benedict is reputed to favour the idea that nothing is impossible.  He says, or so I believe, that even the word itself can be viewed as I'm possible.  Quite so BC.  I like your thinking and tend to agree.  However, I can think of one matter that is likely to remain ever the impossible: for one of your numerous female admirers to transcend from girl-fan to girl-friend.  Not only is that kind of leap rather rare generally, it is doubly unlikely if recent rumours about BC's relationship status are to be believed.

Never-the-less, perhaps his faithful lady followers should remain positive because you just never know.

 

If you know the artist, you know the relevance. ;-)

BC's romantic entanglements aside, I think people should fight against self-doubt and work on the theory that nothing is impossible.

Peace.

xx

Top twenty sexy people

Somewhere in the back of my mind, in moments between mummy stuff, housework and other more down-to-earth activities, I've been compiling a sexy famous people list.  No prizes for guessing who is my number one!  Here's the list:

1. Brace yourselves........yes you are correct, it's Benedict Cumberbatch! Me and millions of other fans agree, he is beautiful sexy perfection.

2. Milo Ventimiglia.  Super sexy.  I can never remember how to spell his surname but that doesn't detract from his hotness.  

3. Kat Dennings.  Just wow.  The perfect woman.  

4. Alison Goldfrapp.  Like a teeny tiny melodic angel.  

5.  Natasha Khan.  Sultry, sexy and incredibly talented.  

6.  Keanu Reeves.  For the longest time he sat in the number one spot but then BC happened.

7.  John Simm.  Just sexy goodness. 

8.  Simon Pegg. Partly due his comedy genius and partly due to his eyes.  

9. Simon Neil.  Of Biffy Clyro and Marmaduke duke aka god like person.

10.  Sasha Roiz.  Ooooh the captain in Grimm.  Deep sigh at his lovely face.

11. David Giuntoli.  Such a handsome man.  I like the beardy version best!

12. JP Reid.  Of Sucioperro, Maramaduke duke and Medals aka god like person.

13. Jude Law.  He will always occupy a position on my list.  

14.  Tori Amos.  Talented, beautiful and kind of odd.
 

15.  Liv Tyler.  Heart meltingly beautiful. 

16. Charlize Theron.  Beautiful perfection.  She looks so different in the film Monster. 

17. Christina Ricca.  Another sexy woman.

18.  Natalie Portman.  If you could choose your appearance, you'd choose to look like Natalie.

19.  Viggo Mortenson.  For a million reasons but mostly because he is Aragorn. 

 
20.  Jared Leto.  He would be higher up but has looked a little odd of late (sorry Jared).

So that's my list.  Men and women.  And yes this is hot list, not an I admire their attractiveness as I'd admire a sculpture list.  I like men and women.  It's out there.  Phew. Mostly though, I prefer BC and, of course, my actual husband!!!! 

xx

STOP THIS NOW TESCO!!!

http://www.avaaz.org/en/petition/Philip_Clarke_TESCO_Group_CEO_Stop_Selling_Seafood_Produce_by_Slaves/?cZegVbb

We MUST call on Tesco to immediately cease purchasing of seafood from Thailand until they can conclusively and transparently demonstrate that their supply chains are free from slavery. Following a number of recent reports into slavery in the Thai seafood industry, including a recent Guardian exposé and investigations from the Environmental Justice Foundation, it has become clear the seafood sourced from Thailand is highly likely to be tainted with slavery. As consumers, we want to know that the seafood we buy has not been produced by slaves.

People are being murdered, actually killed.  WE CANNOT ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN.  

Protect the human.  

Please please sign.  

xx

Painted trousers

I've just painted some lovely dark blue jeans.  They look pretty cool.  Sadly they are a couple of sizes too big but I was at pains to send them to charity and, as they were, they looked a little boring.  I wish wish wish I had the skills to take trousers in but if I attempted such as task, they'd be big at the top, too small at the bottom or something.  I'd look like a clown.  Perhaps I can find a kind friend to take them in for me. 

xx

Finally got a bit of glitter

I finally added a bit of glitter to my blog.  Sadly I can't take credit for the glittery eye.  Some other wonderful, unknown person, created it.  However, said glittery eye has inspired me to go theatrical glitter eye make-up when I go out on Saturday night.  The small, sleepy town I live in, won't know what hit it when I land on the local pub, complete with rainbow hair, grungy clothes, red boots and glitter eyes.  To fit in, is to be bored.  Self art. 

xx Glittery love to all xx

Apologies for the selling overkill

I have used an array of social media tools to cross-promote things I'm selling on Ebay, thus there are numerous posts resting here in this very blog.  I apologise for the overkill.  Selling stuff = more pennies and less clutter. 

x

Pearl Jam limited edition print - Vitalogy - rare

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66c8vk

Bar bender - exercise equipment for upper body

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66c8mY

Dunlop tennis racket and case

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66c8Wh

Adults martial arts / karate tournament mitts / gloves

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66c8Pb

Adults martial arts / karate tournament mitts / gloves

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66c8Fq

Saxophone method book 1 - beginners to intermediate - how to read music

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66c7yB

Nicorette freshmint 2mg gum nicotine

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66c7kV

Oscilloscope electronic test equipment - Gould Advance - OS250A-S2

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66c7fS

New LOW PRICE - Ronald Joyce Wedding dress (prom ball gown) - stunning

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66c7W9

Lady ornament figurine.

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66YKwR

Pearl Jam limited edition print - Vitalogy

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66YK2v

The complete guitarist - mastering the guitar in visuals - classic styles from f

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66YJcW

Heavy metal techniques for lead guitar

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66YJ5l

Progressive rhythm guitar - for beginner to advanced students - emphasis on rock

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66YHr1

Boiler thermostat type TK 3504 scale 60 / 130 c

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66YHcM

Lead guitar for beginners and advanced students - scales used by Rock guitarists

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66YHMn

Rose quartz pendant - very pretty, pale pink

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66YH6V

Customised, one off, paint effect top. Funky punk. Grungy hippie!

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66YGwQ

Funky hippy customised top. One off design. Blue with rainbow effect. Size 14.

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/66YGky

Baez sings of Boston, Benedict is in Boston

Benedict Cumberbatch is in Boston, filming Black Mass.  Thus, this song popped into my mind.  I've been singing this song in my mind and, at times, out loud for hours now! 

It was was written and recorded by Dave Loggins, in the year I was born. I connect with Joan's version.  It is entirely beautiful, much like Joan herself. 

Interestingly and wonderfully, both Joan and Benedict are outspoken on human rights issues.  :-)

xx

When is a number not a number?

Question: when is a number not a number?  Ever since my toddler learned to recognise numbers, she saw the number one everywhere.  (Partly because a non-stylised number one is a pretty basic shape and partly because one, zero and ten are her favourite numbers).  Shapes that presented like the number one, were, to her, number one.  For example, if she saw a rectangular shaped shadow that looked, for all intents and purposes just like number one, in her view, it was number one.  I always clarify with - yes it does look like number one.  Recognising, in the back of mind that it wasn't number one, it was just a shape that appeared to be number one.  Yet, was I wrong?  Was she right?  If we see a saucer, we recognise it as a saucer because sociological knowledge tells us that it is a saucer and if it is circular, we acknowledge that it is also a circle shape because we have learned what circles look like.  As adults we don't do this conciously but upon interacting with children, categorising things is done conciously, so that they can totally ignore the categories as adults. ;-)

As adults, it seems that, if we see a shape that appears to be a number, but we 'know' it is not intentionally a number, we decide that it just looks a number. In fact, as adults, we simply don't see things as numbers unless they 'are' numbers.  Intention seems to matter.  I suppose there are shapes and images that we struggle to categorise - but generally we categorise so quickly and, significantly, we totally fail to question things.  Perhaps we should question more.   

With toddlers, you explain things all the time.  It's just what happens.  So, if they see something that looks like something then a dialogue takes place.  If a shape presents like a cat, then, to a toddler, it's a cat.  Though they appear to know the difference between a picture of a cat and an actual living cat.

What I'm getting at here, is that perhaps if something looks like something then that's what it is.  Maybe a number one could be a shadow, a shape and any number of other things.

Perhaps toddlers have a stronger grip on the handle of philosophical questions than adults do? 

Perspective is everything.

xxx

Letting it go

I was feeling very angry about something.  The anger was poisoning my soul.  I feel much lighter now, as I have let it go.  There will be times, many times, that I will feel sad but the anger has faded. 

The benefit of experience tells me that one day, I will look back and all the active sadness will just be memories of melancholy.

xx

To the people I miss

There are people in this life and in the next life, that I greatly miss.  To these special people - please take care, stay strong and remember that I love you.

xx

Everest or so it seemed

I just climbed Everest.  Yay me.  Okay, that is a lie, but it kinda felt like I'd climbed Everest.  I have, in fact, just partially defrosted the freezer (plus carried out a multitude of other boring domestic activities).  I always dread operation defrost.  I avoid it. This doesn't help matters.  I do the same with oven cleaning.  I avoid, I avoid for as long as possible.  I am, in fact, pretty hygiene conscious, no really, I am.  I like a clean house, well as clean as a house can be with men and children.  I work on the hypothesis that freezers are very cold and ovens are generally very hot. Very cold and very hot places limit the extent that bacteria can flourish.  Okay there are probably super bugs that deem an oven an exotic holiday location but mostly bugs don't hang in places of extreme temperatures.  Or so I hope. :-/

Interestingly, our freezer was so frozen that it had polar bears living in it.  There were also igloos and very large snow men.  Fear not, I evicted them all ethically.  Moreover, an array of spillages had given legs to new life-forms. Horrible life-forms that I really wish I hadn't spent any time with.  These were evicted less ethically.  Fortunately I have a steam cleaner, this didn't exactly make light work of operation freezer but it reduced the levels of ice-like-glass induced scratches on my hands. I kid you not.  That ice was thick, so thick that we have been unable to shut the freezer door properly for days.  If it wasn't for the steam cleaner, I'd probably still be there now, chipping my way through the Snow Queen's Castle.

At times, I enjoyed steaming out the freezer.  I quite liked the sensation of blasting my way through the ice bergs.  I felt like an intrepid explorer.  I was an intrepid explorer.  During the steam blasting, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye.  I knew it wasn't my two year old, she was behind a closed door and safely tucked in the playpen.  My husband was out.  I was alone with the freezer.  So, with razor sharp reflexes I turned and blasted steam at the movement bringer.  On reflection this was a highly dangerous move.  I could have steam blasted a non-criminal-person or a cute animal.  Luckily I just steam blasted the curtain and the curtain, inanimate as it is, didn't seem to mind.

Anyway, as you can imagine from my lively descriptions, operation freezer was a highly dangerous and eventful experience.

I hope my husband will finish the job.

xx 

Goldfrapp - Drew

Johnlock-Words Unspoken

A little comfort for for the crush

A little comfort for all the ladies out there (and gents) that suffer from the crush:

I once sent an amethyst crystal and some worry dolls to a man I had a crush on!  Yes really.  I sent them because I knew he'd been a little stressed out.  I thought the gifts would help.  Maybe they did.  But that's not the point.  The man was in a band that I liked.  Not a well-known band but one that, in my view, should be world-renowned.  Essentially though, the context and the man are not important.  What is important, is this - my feelings were so strong for this man at that time.  Huge crush.  He was a man that I hadn't met but through his music, and, ahem, his looks, I felt compelled to send him a gift.  I also wrote him an email, asking him out on a date!  Oh the shame.  Why I thought for one second he'd say yes, is entirely beyond me but it seemed like a good idea at the time. 

Anyway, powerful feelings compel you to do big things.  Things you might look back on and cringe about.  But eventually you move on.  You do other things.  You might develop a crush on someone else, or you might fall in love in more mutual circumstances.  Crucially, and what I'm at pains to finally say, is what seems all-encompassing now, what seems the biggest thing ever, will, in time, be just another memory. 

I speak from experience here. 

xx

I dreamt about you last night

Reel around the fountain by The Smiths.  Marvelous song.  It sprang into my mind because of my dream last night. 

Isn't it odd when you dream of people whom you haven't thought of in a long time.  I believe dreams have significance to your waking life but it's never obvious or literal.  I suppose you have to consider what these people represented to you, at a time when they were an active part of your life.  Interestingly, I had been dating Sherlock in this dream but we had split up because he'd been unfaithful.  I should note that I'd been dating Sherlock not Benedict Cumberbatch.  Later Sherlock turned into someone I actually did date, who was something of a serial-cheat.  During my break-up from Sherlock / real ex combo, I kissed someone who, in real life, I've never kissed.  Later still the Sherlock / ex combo turned into my actual husband.  My husband listed numerous people he had encounters with during our in-dream break-up, whereas I'd only kissed one man.  I recall that I felt a tad miffed.

xx

A poem

I just wrote a poem that I'm very happy with.  So happy, in fact, that I have decided it doesn't need a title and I have given the little poem it's very own text box!

xxx 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

My tree reached up, it's branches rose

Leaves twisted 'til they found the light

And yet at first I did suppose

Your eyes were filled with deadly night

I wonder now, as time has past

Has instinct dulled to dust

Leaves are slowly twisting back

Green fading now to rust

Petals fall towards the ground

More as each day sails past

Nothing but dead earth is found

Soul decayed unto the last

From smallest speck that I have left

Can I reach beyond the grave

I fear that I'm beyond bereft

Traveled too far to forgave

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Modern times......

In modern times, a sense of personal achievement and / or your self-esteem is couched in terms of the number of friends, followers, likes, retweets and favorites you have.  We live in an age of abbreviation.  Absolutely everything needs to happen in the shortest possible time.  We have power naps, speed dating and super fast aerobic work outs.  Traveling is an inconvenience.  If traveling doesn't happen to plan, we experience road rage.  Nothing is built to last, not even personal relationships.  Thinking about this and related matters, leads me to describe the following modern terms:

 
 

Veging - Is extreme relaxing.  So extreme, that veging is generally spent in the semi-reclined or fully-reclined position.  You are awake but your movement is limited to necessary-only activities, such as visiting the toilet, getting a drink, ordering a take-away and / or changing the TV channel.  Surprisingly, veging has nothing to do with actual vegetables.  Tenuously, links may be found in A: vegetables generally staying very still and B: during veging, people practically take root and, as every vegetable expert knows, vegetables have roots.

Face palm - I discovered the meaning of this term fairly recently.  I'd seen various references to 'face palm' on Facebook and Twitter but had no clue to it's meaning.  A 'face palm' is applying ones palm to ones face to indicate that the face palmer is experiencing an 'oh no' moment of embarrassment, disappointment and similar. The physical action of applying ones palm to ones face is fairly old school but using the term 'face palm' to indicate embarrassment in written format is fairly, ahem, new school.

Talk to the hand - Firstly, do people still 'talk the hand'?  Is it current?  I suspect not.  Either way, to 'talk to the hand' is an expression of fuckoffedness.  To 'talk to the hand', may conjure up images of people placing ones hand in front of ones face, then chatting aimlessly to said hand but this would be an incorrect conjuring.  A 'talk to the hand' is a dismissive expression / action. No hand conversations actually occur.

What evs - This is an abbreviation of 'whatever'.  Arguably 'whatever' is a fairly short word, thus it hardly needs abbreviating but likely the kids of today would disagree with me (or utter 'what evs' in my generally direction).  'Whatever' or 'what evs' is used in much the same way as 'talk to the hand'.  It is a dismissive term.  In other words, I am not interesting in, whatever it is you are saying, doing etc.

Smart phone - A Smart Phone is a phone which is considerably more intelligent than everyone else's phone.  A Smart Phone is designed to downgrade all non-Smart Phone owners to lesser citizen's than the owner's of Smart Phones. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smartphone for a less sarcastic definition.

Like - previously just a fairly innocuous word within the English language, used to describe when something is similar or the same as something else. Recent uses of the word 'like' are nothing like (ahem) the original.  Like is a pause word, a word uttered frequently in every spoken sentence.  For example, 'then I said to her like no, I am not going to that bar, it's like soooo tacky and miles away, and anyway, I'm like wearing 3 inch heels and I like totally can't afford to get a taxi because I need money to buy like cocktails'.  Basically, if you remove the word 'like', the real meaning of the sentence is revealed.

Ill text you coupled with the optional, imaginary physical texting action - In the dim and distant past, people said goodbye, these days people say 'ill text you' and, often combine it with a mimed texting.  Presumably, if you don't own a mobile phone, you still say goodbye.  Although, clearly, these non-phone-owning people irrelevant. 

OMG - is an acronym for 'oh my god'.  Users of the term OMG probably don't know what an acronym is and, quite probably, don't realise that OMG is an acronym for 'oh my god'.  The term 'OMG' is generally used to indicate surprise or shock / mock-shock as in 'OMG what is she wearing'!  Incidentally, what is she wearing, is not, despite appearances, a question - it is, in fact, a put-down.

Doubtless, I have missed many modern terms from my list.  Yet, these are the terms that I find the most interesting.  Please note, my definitions are in no way meant to be informative, they are generally meant to be sarcastic.  But you know, like, if you disagree, like, you know, what evs. 

xx

It's just a little crush

I've enjoyed, ahem, numerous crushes throughout my life.  From my school days until recent adulthood, there were people who, in their time, occupied about 80% of my thinking time.  My crushes were large and sometimes unmanageable.  So large that they often operated instead of real-life.  I didn't just adorn my school exercise books with Hazel 4 whomever, I wrote poetry, I made up stories and *blushes* created mix tapes.  However, my crush activities were largely wholesome - I did not Van Gogh my ear off or set up candle-lit vigils on the doorstep of my crushees.  I rarely, if ever, worried those I fell for.  Of those, that were aware, they were flattered and sometimes acted on that flattery (albeit in a very small way and only to encourage the continuation of my crush).  Yes, my crush activities were pleasant enough from the crushee perspective.   

Interestingly the majority of the men I admired were just ordinary men.  They had not been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, they were not strident social activists nor did they creatively speak to the heart of millions.  They became extraordinary because my imagination made them that way.

They were usually unobtainable and often talented in some way.  They were almost always either romatically attached, geographically remote or emotionally disconnected.  Their unreachability was the mainstay of their magic.  And this is okay.  Regardless of the reason for a crushees appeal, having a crush is absolutely an okay thing to have.  It's okay to mentally date these people.  However, once the crush stops being fun.  Once it's painful.  When your tears replace whimsical smiles of wonder.  Then it is time to stop.  The crush must be unpicked, untangled and surgically removed from your life.




A crush should be nothing more than a pleasant daydream.  Of course, a crush can be goal orientated, that's part of the fun but don't expect the object of your affection to fall in love with you in real-life.  It's true that unrequited can become mutual but that is very rare.  Generally, mutual attraction starts from a place of balance, of equality and a crush is anything but equal.  A crush should be your internal Cinderella meets her prince.  Fantasy.  Fairytale.  Fabrication.  A crush should never, ever take over and replace your real life. 

I think that is important to remember that facts can be fun too.  Real life can be absolutely fabulous, if you make it that way.  Don't live in your imagination.  Use your mind to enjoy what is, rather than what could be. 

xx

Floating then falling: Goldfrapp

Im getting rather lost in Alison Goldfrapp's voice.  Hearing her is like floating.  Floating then falling.  Falling then drowning and never, ever wanting to come up for air.

Wow.  WOW.  Listen.   

goldfrapp - pilots [on a star]

The red shoes

I recall that I thought you didn't like me.  I worried before I met you.  I worried that I wouldn't measure up.  For some time, I thought I didn't.  You were glamourous and free.  I was mismatched and clumsy.

Time past and I realised that I mattered.  You said that you were so happy that I'd stayed in the family.  You told me you loved me.  I never knew that, until that moment.  But you did.  I could see it.  I cried. I held your hand.

You, the woman I felt could fight her way through anything, lost her fight.  But you didn't go quietly.  You had your Boxing Day Party.

In your last moments, you cried out and I felt that I saw you leave.

I wish you were still here.  I would gladly place myself back in those moments where I gripped your best glassware, desperate not to spill red wine on the carpet.  In a heartbeat, I would swap your absence with the time you admonished me for wearing a short skirt.   

I hope the children in the red shoes gave you some comfort, once you went home.

I shall always miss you, my friend.

xxx
 

A real diary moment

This is my  blog.  No shit Sherlock(ian), I hear 'you' cry.  'You' being the imaginary people that I imagine read my blog.  As this is my blog, I might, for a change, treat it as an emotional diary.  Just as I would with a paper diary.   Except that this diary is open to the public.

I briefly owned a paper diary as a latter teenager / early 20s something.  The problem was that whenever I read things back, I would be consumed with horror.  It always felt like someone had written the pages for me.  Invasion of diary snatchers.  An alien had plunged in, grabbed my diary and written in the style of someone totally devoid of personal dignity.  In other words, I generally thought, surely I didn't write that?!  Oh god the pain of it.  So my attempts at paper diaries have always had pages missing, sometimes whole weeks would go astray.  Well, I say astray, I'd basically bin them or ceremoniously burn them.  I'd burn them with a candle, whilst chanting - I'm kidding but there was something of moderate ceremony in my mind when burning unwanted records of memories.

Anyway, I can't burn blog posts.  I could try to ceremoniously press the delete button but I strongly suspect that it's tricky to add drama to a delete button press.  It doesn't utilise many of the senses.  You need full on senses use for pomp and ceremony.  Also, if I read something back and think oooooooh cringey, I can't  permanently delete it anyway- it will probably be out there, somewhere, mocking me from afar.

A burning laptop wouldn't help either

Potential cringing aside, I am now going to write about how I'm feeling and why I feel that way.  Think the psychiatrist couch, ala North American popular drama series.  Any North American popular drama series really, most have a psychiatrist in it at some point.  I'm going totally ignore the British stiff upper lip and completely lack in any self-control or emotional decorum.

Here goes........ 

I feel pretty fucked off right now.  FUCKED OFF.  (Sorry mum and dad).  Whoops slight decorum slip there. Life, apart from the beauty of family and a few friends, is fucking awful.  AWFUL!!

I cannot get a job.  I have qualifications practically dripping out of my arse (interesting analogy there Hazel, but, for all I'm using them, they may as well be dripping out of my arse).  I'm almost 40 (yikes), I have many years of work experience, and some of it was in career-ladder type roles and yet I CANNOT GET A JOB. 

We have been asked to leave our house - nicely and with notice but we have to leave.  We have so much stuff to pack and, as yet, we cannot find a new house.

My daughter has no ability to do as I ask. She is a toddler.  Nothing works.  She lives without boundaries.  Everything is a dangerous adventure waiting to happen.  It's driving me bonkers.  (She is still absolutely perfect but behaviour management is definitely an issue). 

I have vertigo again - this makes exercise very difficult because I fall over a lot. Falling over hurts and vertigo makes me feel sick. 

I have lost a very good friend.  We were friends, certain events occurred and now we are NOT friends.   I feel absolutely distraught about this.  She was, is very special to me and she is no longer in my life. However, I do have continual reminders of that FACT through mutual friends via Facebook.  Thank you mutual friends and Facebook.

My metabolism in running at a geriatric speed.  The exercise I do now is three times that I did as a younger woman.  I don't eat any more than I used to but losing weight and toning up is at least 9 times as difficult.  When people say, 'I only have to look at a cream cake and I gain 12 pounds' (or whatever) well I, rather dramatically, only have to stand 10 foot away from a cream cake, and totally fail to spot said cream cake and yet I absorb all of it's calories and more.  At least I assume this is what's happening because otherwise HOW THE HELL am I not fecking Twiggy!?   

There are also one or two personal issues that I actually don't want to blog about.  They are far too personal and far too issuey.  Perhaps I need a paper diary for these.  However, I will just say that these issues are particularly difficult and emotionally draining.  :-(

So there you have it.  A frank account of shit-happenings that are currently shitting all over my life.

I feel rather lost.  I feel like a bad luck magnet.  I emotionally fluctuate and I'm always, always tired.  Meditation and yogalates helps.  Poetry and writing help too.  Of course, I sometimes get lost in my toddler's smile - despite her tantrums, her smile and laugh help me most of all.

To quote Annie, from Sleepless in Seattle "I feel so much better, just having blown this off". 

xx

Wholock - VFX Breakdown - wowser!

I may actually like this more than Wholock itself.  So wonderfully clever.  Fantastic for me, a mere mortal in the ways of film making, to see how it's done. 

Watch, enjoy, watch again.......

Another Mastin beauty

http://allpoetry.com/poem/8620615-At-The-Movies-by-Florence-Ripley-Mastin

And another beauty by Mastin!

They swing across the screen in brave array,
Long British columns grinding the dark grass.
Twelve months ago they marched into the grey
Of battle; yet again behold them pass!

One lifts his dusty cap; his hair is bright;
I meet his eyes, eager, young and bold.
The picture quivers into ghostly white;
Then I remember, and my heart grows cold!

Poems by heart

I'm getting closer to learning some poems by heart. Obviously I intend to learn poems that resonate with me.  At present, a poem that really captures my imagination is 'From the telephone' by Florence Ripley Mastin.  Fortunately, the piece is quite short so quoting it from memory is actually plausible. 

From the telephone by Florence Ripley Mastin

This is a rather magical poem by Florence Ripley Mastin. It is poems like this that make me realise I've a long way to go before I can write so beautifully.  Her words.  Such emotion.  Your voice broke like a flower. Sigh.



Out of the dark cup
Your voice broke like a flower.
It trembled, swaying on its taut stem.
The caress in its touch
Made my eyes close.

http://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/telephone

A poem by Emily Bronte: Me thinks this heart....

This poem reminds me of the importance of natural light, fresh air on the face and how the changing light reflects ones own changing light.

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/me-thinks-this-heart/

Me thinks this heart should rest awhile
So stilly round the evening falls
The veiled sun sheds no parting smile
Nor mirth nor music wakes my Halls

I have sat lonely all the day
Watching the drizzly mist descend
And first conceal the hills in grey
And then along the valleys wend

And I have sat and watched the trees
And the sad flowers how drear they blow
Those flowers were formed to feel the breeze
Wave their light leaves in summer's glow

Yet their lives passed in gloomy woe
And hopeless comes its dark decline
And I lament because I know
That cold departure pictures mine

Emily Jane Bronte

Myself in thoughts

I wrap myself in thoughts
like a comfort blanket
a shield to the real
a step into escape

It is my salvation
I cling to its' protection
a cushion of safety
a transcendence of me

I'm more than what is
I'm additional accessorising
a footstep onto beyond
a trickle of tenses

Has now become secondary?
the poor alternate existence?
an unreal to real
a substitute for life

How Sherlock made that jump: The Reichenbach Tardis

The Reichenbach Tardis

All our questions have been answered.  Wholock strikes again.  

xx

Not a sociopath?

http://io9.com/5933869/stop-calling-sherlock-a-sociopath-thanks-a-psychologist

Apparently Sherlock is NOT a sociopath or a psychopath or, quite possibly any kind of 'path.  Thus, he is neither a high or as so many people incorrectly quote, highly functioning sociopath.

I believe it is possible to argue that Sherlock is high functioning, never-the-less, it seems that he might need to add an accurate definition of sociopath into his mind palace.

Tee hee.

Love song to a stranger - Joan Baez

Reading the beautiful poem by Nandini Sahu has reminded me of an equally beautiful piece of poetry by Joan Baez.  I love Joan's contemporary folk songs.  I'm quite partial to her traditional songs and protest pieces too.  Anyway, here is a You Tube vid of 'Love song to a stranger' by Joan Baez.

I love the line "you're mainly a mystery with violins filling in space".  Magic fills in the gaps.  Romance existed, indeed it thrived without a life CV and perhaps it thrived because of the absence of personal information.  Yet, I can't help feeling sad that it wasn't love everlasting but maybe romantic love isn't meant to last.

A poem by Nandini Sahu

This is a poem that I just read by Nandini Sahu.  Something in her words makes me feel calm.  I think perhaps there is a softness to the way one word ends and another begins.  The words seem to float from the page.  Beautiful.  Read on..........

xx xx xx xx xx

After you left
only after you left
I could guess
that your shadow spreads
beneath my lonely heart,
and you are a stranger
the most loving stranger;
time came to a halt
pain sprinkled over my earth.

This contention crushed me to dust
clipped my wings
addicted to fly
pushed me off the branch
where I was resting, relaxed
in an endless sphere;
my heart broke.
The vibrations
spread across the sky.

Can I ever write a love poem
for you? Exclusively for you?
Time is ripe
sharpening its claw
to rupture the skeleton of pallid earth.
Why am I roaming in the sun
when the shady tree
has always waited
even though the shadows have only
troubled me
playing hide and seek.

Why didn’t you play that tune
earlier
taking away all pain
giving joy of self-introspection?
There is no want to drink
when the cup overflows.
I had always wanted
to drink life to the lees,
but a poor mortal that I was
I saw an empty cup
and pierced my heart with thorns.

Safely sail through life.
Oh fateful one,
tears are dear to you.
Beneath the troubled waters
I too love to float.

Today
I am awarded
with a life time of turmoil
and a stranger, loved the most

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/loving-stranger/

Bar bender - exercise equipment for upper body

via Items for sale Alsager: with The LOVED Before Store http://dlvr.it/5vzdhr

Peggy Seeger - The First time ever I saw your face

Just wow.  Such a beautiful song.  Written for love and of love. 

The Beatles - I've Just Seen a Face

Naked ladies

I see that Rihanna has absolutely no issues with bladder weakness.  Your time will come me dear.  Eventually, you'll need extra crystals to cover up your post-child stretch marks and rubber souls on your shoes to ensure you don't slip in the self-made puddles. *Waits for the meaning of that sentence to sink in*.  And boom. 

Ah, the perils of being over 30......

#Soles not souls - damn it!#

Unreturned

This, was a love 

Filling up my mind 

Connecting us through divides 

This, was unrequited

Laughing loud was mine 

This kindred, a miss-sign

This, is a loss

Unreturned, is my compassion 

Forged in your fake intentions 

This, is a retraction 

Turning now from sorrow 

Present tense deletes tomorrow

Unfriending

I've just unfriended someone that I thought I'd be friends with forever.  The decision to unfriend was symbolic.  The decision to unfriend was to help me to move on.

I feel very sad indeed.   

The Beatles - Blackbird (official video)

When I answered questions on My Cultural Life, I chose John Lennon over Paul McCartney.  It was certainly a difficult choice but John just pipped Paul to the post.  Listening to Blackbird again, reminds me what a beautiful songwriter Paul is.  I love this song.  It's perfection. 

Donate for Benedict Cumberbatch

Benedict Cumberbatch's birthday!

If you adore the lovely BC and you feel like sending a birthday gift, why don't you donate to charity instead.  Better still, donate to a charity of his choice.  This year, at Benedict’s request, fans are raising funds for The Princes Trust. 

https://www.justgiving.com/CumberbatchwebPT

xx

Make and mend - it's fun and frugal

I have been focusing some of my energies upon improving the contents of my wardrobe.  Most of these energies have been expended upon tie dying, tie bleaching and fabric painting.  These, are creative areas that I'm very comfortable with. 

Today I've been sewing.  Actually sewing, with a needle and related items!  (Incidentally, the earlier paragraph suggests that this sewing was creative.  If I'm honest, the suggestion that anything creative happened as a result of the sewing, is something of a stretch).  However, I do have two cotton cardigan thingies, which were hitherto covered with holes, that are now ready to wear.  Arguably, one of the cardigan thingies is rather roughly sewn but I intend to wear it anyway. 

I dislike throwing clothes away.  Even if throwing away means taking the clothes for recycling.  In any event, I adore these cardigan thingies.  They are wonderfully representative of my hippyish image. 

I think I might adorn the roughly sewn cardigan thingy with spray on fabric paint.  I think it will avert the eye from the sewn areas and, more importantly, spray on fabric paint looks interesting. 

Make and mend folks.  It's fun and frugal.

xx

Jobs and careers

I need a job.  I'd like a career but I need a job.  If anyone would like to hand a job over, I'd be super grateful. 

Thanks much,

xxx